In two days, January 10th will mark 13 years since our son, Kevin, headed off to Heaven.

As I look back on the past 13 years, I can hardly believe it's been that long chronologically, but in some ways it feels like yesterday.

Time is a funny thing isn't it?  It tics it's steady beating no matter what is going on in our lives . . .  tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc.  



Sometimes, when I am quiet and still, I can feel the slow, steady rythym of time. At other times, I am not even aware of the tic-tocs of time until the hour, day, week, month or year has passed, and as I continue to age, I realize that time really is "fleeting."

This also seems to be what it is like for me in missing Kevin.  As I think of him, remember him and miss him, sometimes time seems to stand still. Other times, like today,  I cannot believe that so much time has passed since he was here with us.

I have heard, as you have probably heard, that "time heals all wounds."  For some this may be true, but for me, I have found that time does't heal anything at all and wounds can fester and sorrow not embraced or attened to can actually deepen the wounds and even cripple us.

For me, I believe that it is only God Himself who heals all wounds just as He promises in Isaiah 61:3 that "He gives beauty for ashes, joy for mourning and praise for the spirit of heaviness..."

Today, just two days before the 13th year that marks the day our son headed off to Heaven, I am missing him.  Though I miss him now with a lesser degree of sorrow, pain and suffering, I miss him and I know that I will always miss him and that's okay. I know that it is normal to miss him and others I have loved who have gone on before me. I also know that it's okay for me to long to see him and the others I love and am missing.

After nearly 13 years, I can look back on my journey through grief with the knowledge that I have turned a corner and that all my wounds are healing. I also know that Kevin and I are not separated by anything other than time and our addresses and

"I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:38-39

Because of the love of God and His priceless gift of redemption and eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord, my love for Kevin and his love for me goes on and on and on, and as of January 10th, I will now be 13 years closer to seeing him again!  

With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.motherslikeme@facebook.com


COMMENTS:
Angie, I love reading your precious words, as you write your feelings to us that understand. We know what you feel in your mothers heart. We miss our children and always will. Some days it seems so long since Donna went to heaven, others it seems so fresh and I miss her; days I cry and days I just look @ her picture and think of how pretty she was, other days are just average days, but I am so grateful for the blood of Jesus making it possible to see her again for all Eternity. It has been 17 years this past Nov. 7th, and like you I am 17 years nearer to seeing her again and my baby boy, Victor Allen (thanks to you, he has a name now) and I think with all that is going on in our world, we are near the return of our Lord, for sure we are closer than we were yesterday.
 Love you and I will pray for you and Bob, on this 13th anniversary.
 Doris Lamberson

Growing up close to the beach was a very special blessing for this Arkansas-born and East Coast young girl. 

Times spent in the sun (or on foggy days), sand and in the salt water and waves helped to make me the person that I am today, and this photo and quote really spoke to my heart this morning, as I consider what oceans I may cross in 2015.

Countless times I have stood on the shore looking out at the vastness of the ocean (Atlantic and Pacific) imagining the mighty and powerful God who not only designed and created the ocean, but is its' master. 


One of my nephew's reactions, when he first saw the ocean as a little fella is a special memory, when he said  "Mommy, where's the drain for that BIG water?" The ocean can make us feel so small and it's kind of scary isn't it?

It is no surprise that I married a handsome, tanned "surfer boy," and that our three sons surfed. We spent hours and hours and hours at the beach through the years we lived in Southern California, and I've got the sun-damaged skin to prove it. 

However, there came a time in my life, when I began to spend little or no time at the beach and the only time I got in the water was when my children and grandchildren were young. When I was a young girl and younger woman, I enjoyed body surfing and playing in the waves. At one point, I began to dislike the sand and became aware of the "big water," and I now realize that I just lost interest in the ocean and I also lost a measure of courage that had once allowed me to leave the shore.  

To me, courage is being willing (even when we don't feel able)  to "lose sight of the shore" in order to cross an ocean. Quite often those of us who suffer great sorrow and loss become shore huggers, because we are afraid of what might be out there in the unknown, perhaps because of what lies behind us or the pain and suffering that has affected our balance and courage for really living again.

What would it mean for you to "lose sight of the shore" that you might experience something greater and more powerful than you have yet to experience? Are you afraid of losing sight or letting go of what lies behind? Are you content to stay on the shore? Have you lost courage for living a life that would include leaving the "shore" somehow?

Relocating to the Rocky Mountain region in Northern Colorado has helped me understand that the shoreline of life is wherever we are living or in our hearts and minds. For me, it is important and that I be aware that I may become a "shore hugger," if I do not keep my eyes and heart focused on the One who is the master of the oceans, storms and seasons of my life. 

I've been knocked down many times, when I have tried to leave the shore and venture out into the ocean literally and figuratively throughout my life. As I look ahead to 2015, I believe that it is time for me to imagine myself losing sight of the shore and being willing to cross an ocean, if I am going to live the life that God has planned for me. I have become cautious, careful and may lack the courage that I once possessed, because I have been hurt, but I'm ready to begin again with renewed courage.

Does any of what I am sharing resonate with you, as you look out over the "big water" of the unknown?

With Faith, Hope and Courage in Christ ALWAYS,
Angie "a mother like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherliikeme.info