It is very normal for a mom who has suffered the death of a child to look at ourselves as a "grieving mom" - but how long do you think we can consider ourself in that way before our perception of ourselves is permanently distorted?
"What are you talking about?" a mom may ask - " I will always consider myself a "grieving mom!"
As a mom who will always grieve the loss of our son, Kevin, it has been my personal experience that considering myself as a grieving mom alone is not a healthy image of myself. Life goes on and grief is only a part of my identity. Though I am a mom who grieves the loss of my son and other personal losses, grief does not define who I am or who I can be in Christ.
I also strongly believe that seeing myself consistently as the grieving mom of my son, Kevin, does not honor his memory, and I know the last thing he would want for me to do is define who I am as a grieving mom only.
Do you think that your child would want to remember you as his/her "grieving mom?" I say absolutely not. Yes, we will always have moments of grief, sorrow and sadness, because our child is no longer here with us and we miss him/her so much, but to describe ourselves as a 'grieving mom" rather than our child's mom does not do ourselves any favor now or in the future, at least this is what I have realized over the past 17 years since Kevin's death and heading off to Heaven.
Of course there is a time and a season where that is how we see ourselves, but if we strive to live with hope for our future, and we move through our journey of grief with that hope, we can most certainly see ourselves as a whole person once again . . . heart, soul, mind and body, not just as one who grieves.
Some moms want to focus on being seen and remembered as a grieving mom, but not me - I want to live, as I know my son, Kevin, would want me to live, as my Father God has created and intended me to live - with HOPE and purpose!
Yes, I grieve my losses, but I will not allow that grief to cripple me or define me - how about you? How would you describe yourself to someone? What defines you? If you are new in your loss, grief may consume you right now, but consider that God has a "plan for good" and that you will be intentional about not allowing your grief to define who you are.
With Love and Hope,
Angie "a mom like you"