Death has a way of showing us the reality that we really don't have control, and that thinking that we do is simply an illusion that doesn't serve us well in this life or prepare us for what's ahead.
After the death of our son, I surrendered ALL - I held nothing back, surrendering completely to the sovereignty of God.
In that defining season of my life, I was literally set free of any lies that I may have believed at one time that I was in control somehow.
Sometimes we have to be "buckled" for our own good. This weekend, my family was "buckled" by the murder of our precious Wendi Miller, who was a "daughter of my heart." How could this happen to someone so good, kind, compassionate, full of life, and the joy of living? She was completely surrendred to God - How could this be part of God's plan for "good?" Why her, why now?
Wendi was absolutely surrendered - she knew what it meant to be "yielded and still" and had the confidence and assurance that God was enough. She loved her son and daughter passionately and was devoted fully to them though they had been wrongfully ripped away from her at a very young age by her x-husband through a corrupt family court system in Michigan. You can read her story at www.wingsforjustice.com.
Though I am very acquainted with grief and loss, Wendi's murder threw me to my knees and I have been overwhelmed and somewhat paralyzed with grief. All I can think about is her and her children and family - knowing so well what they are going through breaks my heart. However, once again, as with the loss of all my loved ones through the years, knowing that she is now in the arms of Jesus is fills my broken heart with hope and comfort, I am once again required to surrender and accept God's will.
Death makes us look at life in a different way, but when we come to a place of complete surrender it causes me to look ahead to my own time when I, too, will be gone from this Earth. Death causes me to be much more aware of how I am spending my time and to challenge my priorities and what I value, as well as challenging me to live more passionately and with much more JOY! Suddenly, all the other cares and concerns fade away and it is the light of Christ and the hope of Eternity that I see.
How about you? Are you still trying to control what you have no control over? Do you wrestle with the reality that God may just be calling you to "surrender absolutely?"
Rest in Peace, our precious Wendi, and I know you'll do what you said you would do, if you headed HOME before me . . . that you will meet up with Kevin, and the rest of my loved ones who have gone on ahead of me, telling them that "we are faithful, trusting, yielded and surrendered, and that our love for them goes on and on and on." I am "buckled" by the loss of you, but I will collapse in the arms of Jesus once more.
Angie "a mom like you"