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The "Nobody Like Me" Club

6/26/2013

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My husband, Bob, and I have grown up together.  We met and started dating in High School, when we were just 15 years old, and we have been together ever since - 50 years as a couple, 47 years as a married couple. We don't know what it would mean to live without one another, and we wouldn't have it any other way; even with our differences, the rough places and challenges that we have experienced (and lived through), as well as sharing intense and passionate (we're Irish!) joy and sorrow. 

In May, my "little" brother, Russ, and his wife, Deborah, came to Colorado to visit over Mother's Day to honor our 85 year old Mom, and we spent a special week together.  

During the week, we talked and laughed and talked and laughed somemore. My husband, Bob, and my brother are very close and they both retired before they turned 60. Over the years, since their retirement, the four of us have had several conversations about retirement, and we all agree that it is important for us to not just take up time, space and air, but to find something that will make a difference and leave some sort of legacy behind, as well as us enjoying the simple pleasures of being blessed to be able to retire.

One day, while Russ and Debbie and I were on our way to Denver, I overheard by husband and brother in the front seat of the car (yes - they ride shot-gun, don't all men?) talking about how easy it seems to be for women to find something to do with their time, and how for them, it is more of a challenge, now that they don't have to show up to work everyday.

At one point, I heard my husband tell my brother that he was truly happy for me, that I co-founded Mothers Like Me and that I am fulfilled and content in my retirement years. After a few seconds of silence, he then said to my brother,  "Well, maybe I should just form my own group like Mothers Like Me, and I'll call it "Nobody Like Me" - I'll meet with myself, send memos to myself and focus completely on ME!"  The two guys had a good laugh and they began to play off the idea of a life that revolved around the notion that there is "Nobody Like Me" and the four of us found the subsequent discussion hilarious. But, the discussion, though light-hearted and funny, caused me to consider that there just might be some element of a deeper truth in their "playtime," and I began to think about what life might be like, if it was lived as though there is "nobody like me."

Though I was amused by our men's humorous conversation that day, I also realized that they were somewhat serious, as they are both trying to figure out what to do now that they are retired. From that conversation, I made a commitment to pray more specifically that God would help them find new meaning and purpose to their "new normal." Neither of them are selfish or self-absorbed guys, but they are trying to find their way through our "new normal" and this brought that time in our lives, after our son, Kevin, died, when we were also trying to find our "new normal" in response to our loss.  

According to God's Word, we are sojouners in this life - just passing through - meant for a measure of adventure, for fellowship and for living life in communion with Him and with one another.  For those of us who are living with the loss of a child, I wonder how many of us may be trying to figure out this journey through grief and think that there is "nobody like me." That there is simply "no one who really understands,"  and that grieving and moving through grief is just "something I have to do on my own, my way." 

If you may be thinking that somehow your circumstances are unlike anyone else's, and you doubt that anyone really cares about your feelings, would be willing to embrace something of your personal sorrow, hear stories of your child and/or just "be there" with you and for you, we hope you will think again. Through the years, since Mothers Like Me began in March 2006, we have been privileged to watch brokenhearted moms move through their grief with renewed hope, as they experience acceptance, comfort, hope and encouragement within our Christ-centered community of moms.  

Our ministry leadership team is in the process of mapping out our 2013-2014 Season of Comfort with YOU in our hearts and prayers, because there really is "nobody like you" - you ARE special, your child is special, and we care about you and would consider it an absolute blessing to acknowledge your loss, share a measure of love, comfort and encouragement and to just accompany you on your journey through grief until you are ready to go out and "comfort others as you yourself have been comforted."

Visit our website at www.motherslikeme.info and view our upcoming Calendar of Events and Loss Group schedule.

With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie Green, Director
"Mighty Like A Rose" ministry leadership team (Shelley Forney, Stephanie Whitton, Christy Weeks, Julie Christen and Sharon Spencer)

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"Stay in Your Lane"

6/13/2013

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The Lord recently reminded me of the importance of being authentic and staying true to who I am in Him, according to His plan for my life.

As I strongly desire to live the life that God has planned for me - finishing well for His glory - I realize that the way in which I make my way through the journey of grief is a significant part of how I might "finish well." 

Living with loss, and determining how I will respond to my losses has been the most challenging experiences and testings of my character and faith of my life so far.

Yesterday, a precious mom that I haven't talked to for many months shared with me that she is "trying to move on with God's help." I had to think about what she meant by "moving on." Some moms reading these words may cringe at the thought or the idea of "moving on," because they cannot imagine what that would mean or how that might be lived out in their own lives. For me, I sensed her desire to keep on living with God's help, moving toward something better, all the while doing the best that she could in her own way.

Many years ago, I heard a story about a young girl with special needs who came in last place, but actually won the Special Olympics gold medal, because she was "the only one who stayed in her lane!"  All of the other runners were all over the course, laughing, high-fiving each other, stepping into one another's lanes and playing to the crowds completely oblivious for the white lines that created individual lanes. When the last runner crossed the finish line and the race was over, the gold medal was presented to the runner who came in last. Who knew that winning the gold that day would have nothing to do with speed or crossing the finish line first, but rather, the gold would be given to the one who simply stayed in the lane assigned to them.

Before the sudden cardiac death of our youngest son, Kevin, in January 2002, I was running a very different kind of race. I was confident, focused and determined to experience all that God had planned for me, and for my family, with hope and joy, because I believed Jeremiah 29:11 with all of my heart "I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Little did I know what was ahead for me, my husband and my family, and how my faith and trust in God and His plans for me would be challenged and how I would be re-defined and refined. 

Since Kevin's death, I have experienced a plethara of feelings and emotions, and I have faced and worked through what, at times, have seemed like impossible mountains of emotions, challenges and issues to climb over or break through. I have also learned a lot about myself, about life, people and God Himself.  And, I have learned what it means for me to "stay in my lane," as I keep moving toward the finish line with the help of God and the hope of finishing well for His glory.  

I have discovered, as you may also have or are discovering, that the journey through grief is a wilderness of unexplored feelings, emotions and experiences that are felt and expressed differently. And, that by being honest with ourselves and others, open to what God has planned for us, realizing that we are all people with "special needs" we can surely put one foot in front of the other, staying in our lane that will lead us across the finish line with our eyes fixed on the Eternal One who is in the lane right beside us - JESUS!  "He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken." -Psalm 62:2

As we move into Summer, we hope that you will be refreshed and reminded of how special and unique you are, and that you will experience the peace of "staying in your lane" with God helping you over the finish line according to His plan for good for you and your family.

You are in our hearts, thoughts and prayers, and we are looking forward to mapping out our upcoming 2013-2014 Season of Comfort that will begin mid-September.  

Love and Blessings In Christ - as we keep on walking and moving together toward the finish line with Jesus,
 Angie and our "Mighty Like A Rose" ministry leadership team (Shelley, Stephanie, Christy, Julie and Sharon)




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    These blog pages are written by and for moms who have suffered the loss of a child.

    May the reflections and expressions of mothers' hearts be a source of comfort, help and encouragement and may you, like these moms, accept God's great exchange as "He gives beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, praise for the spirit of heaviness . . " Isaiah 61:3

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