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The Candle

7/25/2018

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"I am a candle that wants to shine for You, Father.
Though at times my wick is weak, bent over and spent.
When it is Your fire that fills me up,
My flame glows, shimmers and shines bright and true.
Let me never hide my 'light under a bushel' or let 'Satan blow it out!"  

I am intended to shine. We are all intendd to shine, but I don't want to shine for my own brilliance, but for God's glory - His delight and pleasure in me-because He is my Creator, Father and King.

How I want Him to rule and reign in my heart. But, I need Him to show me His power, glory and might and to keep the flame burning in me, making my wick straight and strong until that day when He either returns for His people or calls me HOME.



My brother, Russ, and I used to sing a chorus that has resonated in my heart and soul, since I was a very young girl . . .
"This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine. Hide it under a bushel NO!
This little light of mine I'm going to let it shine. Won't let Satan blow it out.
This little light of mine I'm going to let it shine. I'll let it shine til Jesus comes!"


This world is filled with darkness and light; daylight, moonlight and starlight. Also, there is darkness and light in people and in their lives - what would the world be like if there were more light than darkness, more good than evil, more love than hatred?

I recently read a blog written by a young woman who is very concerned about the hatred and lack of civility and kindness that seems to be permeated our society now and it made me think that there are most certainly forces of light and darkness in the world and but I believe it's impossible to bring light into darkness simply by our will alone,  but, I have witnessed that when we allow God to fill us with His light, than we cannot help but "shine."  

Don't you need a "candle" in your life to light the way for you? Don't you know somone who needs God's light to shine in their heart? I want to be filled with the light of Christ and to take my candle with me wherever I go and whatever I do in the hope of bringing light and shining according to God's will and purpose for my life - how about you?  How's the wick of your candle? 

With the Light of Christ in my Heart,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherlikeme.info

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A Greater Thirst

7/22/2018

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Sometimes, not often, but sometimes I feel really sorry for myself, because I have suffered the loss of my Dad, my son and my brother. . . three loves of my life that I miss more than I can say.  

With each loss, I feel like parts of myself went with them. and this morning was one of those times, when the sorrow and grief surfaced in a big way and I asked God "Why? Why did you take these three men that I love so deeply from me?"  

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Though, I know first of all that these beautiful souls are not mine, but given as gifts to the world for a time and a season, as an experienced griever, I have learned that I will l have these moments and that the LORD is always faithful to honor my grief and my honesty with Him, bringing almost instantaneous comfort, strength and peace.  

This morning the comfort and peace came to me through a few songs that were played on the praise and worship station that I was listening to; the first song was about connecting the hurt with the Healer, next  from God's Word that
"I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind." and then through a song written by Laura Story entitled "Blessings." 
https://youtu.be/Cd6J6Wgnv4M.

My husband, Bob, and I talked at breakfast about the grief that I so often experience that is connected to the loss of my Dad, our son and my brother, and how we do not know how people live with such sorrow and/or depression without the Spirit of God present within us.   

As Bob said, "for those who are suffering who often move into the dark place of depression, the pain and sorrow can consume and overwhelm us, if there is not the hope of Christ to hold onto - that which steadies and anchors us and we can feel helpless and hopeless."

For me, it is the hope that this world is not our home and we all are just passing through and for that "greater thirst" inside my heart and soul for our eternal home. How grateful I am for my Dad who planted what I believe to be the truth that "this world is not my home, I'm just passing through," and how he, my son and my brother point the way, but I know nothing will quench my "greater thirst" except the love and presence of God within me, and that hope of one day being HOME.  


Thirsty for God and Home Today,
​Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherlikeme.info




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Heart Strings

7/10/2018

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Music has always been a language that best speaks to and for me. I have never idolized music or musicians, but I have been thankful for the language of music and that melodies flow through me effortlessly and consistently.

I grew up in a home that was filled with music - my mom is a musician, my dad loved to sing and dance and my early childhood years were all about music; singing it, playing it on the piano, listening and dancing to it . . . everyday there was music. 


I recall a time, when our son, Kevin, was probably about 10 years old, when he had a small aquarium in his room. One day I turned on melodic, classical music and he and I lay on his bed and watched the fish swimming to what seemed like the rythmn of the music; he was absolutely delighted. How I cherish that moment in time that we shared together and all the times when music connected our hearts and souls.  

Because music is the language of our soul, after Kevin died in 2002, the music changed for me - not that music is no longer important to me, but it has a different place in my heart and life. Until Kevin's death, I was a "singer of songs" (since I was less than 2 years old) and there was never a time in my life that I was not singing solos or in groups, but after Kevin's death that all changed.

Because music is a language that is tied to my emotions, my emotions are easily stirred by a melody or lyrics. Soon after Kevin died, I couldn't sing without crying - even if the tears were not tears of sorrow, the music moved my emotions deeply, and I found it very difficult to sing without crying. Listening to music replaced my singing, and I found that writing songs became a new vehicle for my need to sing. I believe this was God's way of keeping the music alive in me while I was in the "valley of the shadow of death."  And, I have no concern about whether or not anyone will ever hear or sing the songs I have written, these melodies and lyrics have all been soothing gifts of comfort from God.

Now, at this time of my life, I am content in the reality that music is from Him and for Him first and foremost, for I know that He is the source of music and that "God gives the song!" 

What about you, precious Moms?  Does music soothe you - stir your emotions - cause you to feel things you wouldn't ordinarily feel?  May God give you a song in your heart.

With a Song in My Heart,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherlikeme.info




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Give What's Left of Me Away!

7/2/2018

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A neighbor recently shared this poem with me and it speaks to what I believe our son, Kevin, would tell us . . . 

"Now that I'm gone, remember me with a smile and laughter. And, if you need to cry, cry with our family and friends who walk in grief beside you.

And, when you need me, put your arms around anyone and give to them what you need to give to me.



I want to leave you something. Something much better than words or sounds. Look for me in the people I've known and loved or helped out in some special way.

Let me live in your eyes as well as in your mind. You can love me the most by letting love live within the circle of your arms, embracing the frightened or lonely one.

Love does not die, people do. So, when all that's left of me is love, give me away as best as you can.  I'll see you at HOME, where I'm waiting." - Unknown

Over the past 16 years, I have heard and read many people's thoughts about how they believe that their loved ones who are no longer living on this Earth are still here somehow, but this writing speaks the truest to me.

Our son, Kevin, was known for being a VERY loving person - one who everyone said was "the most loving and non-judgemental person they ever knew." His fiance' called him "Luvvy," and that was the perfect nickname for him.

And so, rather than me trying to imagine how Kevin might "come to me" or be " present to me" when I am missing and/or needing him (which I do not believe he is because I strongly believe he is now a "citizen of Heaven"),  I  imagine him in Heaven and consider how I might keep his legacy alive and well. And, so in his honor, I am intentional about giving something of  "him away" by my loving actions, which I know in my mother's heart is what he would want me to do.  

I will not waste my time or emotional energy on trying to keep Kevin connected to this Earth somehow, but I release him, letting him live on in his new home - Heaven! There are many times when I "need" my son, and in those times I put my "arms around someone and give to them" what I would so like to give to him.

Giving What I Can Give,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherlikeme.info



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    These blog pages are written by and for moms who have suffered the loss of a child.

    May the reflections and expressions of mothers' hearts be a source of comfort, help and encouragement and may you, like these moms, accept God's great exchange as "He gives beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, praise for the spirit of heaviness . . " Isaiah 61:3

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