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Simply Marvelous!

9/17/2016

"It is always the simple that produces the marvelous." - Amelia E. Barr

I have a precious cousin who is always saying "marvelous, simply marvelous!" Anyone who knows her loves this about her, because it reveals the level of enjoyment and gratitude she possesses for life - she lives simply and it has produced the "marvelous" in her.

Have you ever wondered if you are missing out on the marvelous of life, because you are too busy, spending the majority of your time driven by your calendar and schedule?

Are you missing out on the simple things of life? When was the last time you spent quality time with your family and/or friends - not watching TV or going to an event or participating in an activity, just spending time sharing what's going on in your hearts and lives intently listening. When was the last time you spend time alone with God? How long has it been since tyou took a leisurely walk just to enjoy the sky, sun, God's beautiful creation, rather than for cardio and/or physical exercise or weight loss?

Yesterday, I spent quality time with my grandaughter, Jayde, who needed to sew something for her design class at school. We made a baby blanket. The plan was simple, just two pieces of flannel fabric sewn together, but the time spent together not only produced a well-crafted blanket, but it was a "marvelous," memory-making time together.

You may say, "I don't have time for simple . . . I don't know how to do simple . . . nothing seems simple to me these days." Things can change and so can we. In our fast-paced society that focuses on accomplishments, winning and achieving, there seems little time or desire for "being" rather than "doing." I believe that if we are not careful, we, and the generations that will follow us, are losing something of ourselves in activity and events, and we are being influenced by the noise and distractions that consume us. "Throughout the day today, pause in busy moments and remind yourself that you need only to be consumed by Him (God)." -Angie Smith

Unfortunately, as the saying goes "desperate people do desperate things." Can you relate? I sure could after the death of our son, Kevin, and it wasn't until I did some serious self-assessment that I was able to slow down, simplify my life and come to a place where "marvelous" is possible, I live a simple, uncomplicated and happy life now - it wasn't easy to change, but by God's grace and guidance I am enjoying simply living simply and it's "marvelous!"

By His Marvelous Grace,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherikeme@gmail,com
www,amotherlikeme.info

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"Get Over It?"

9/11/2016

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It takes time to learn how to get through each day after someone we love dies and I, along with many others, would say that to think that we are going to "get over" the loss of someone we have loved and lost reveals the level of a person's understanding and experience with death and loss.

Most people are well-meaning in encouraging those who have suffered loss to move through their grief and "get over it," and it has been my experience that is because they want to avoid facing the heartache and pain connected to loss and they aren't comfortable identifying with another's grief, beause they aren't comfortable embracing their own grief, much less another's.

Fortunately, I have had no one suggest that I should "get over" the loss of our son, Kevin, and that wouldn't work for me anyway, because I would find that impossible, especially since I so want to keep him "tucked safely in my heart."

Why do you think there are people who think we should "get over" that person no longer here with us? As I mentioned earlier, I believe that it is because they don't want to companion with those who are grieving, and they want everything the way it once was, and of course wouldn't that be nice, but it's just not reality.

Tonight, I came together with a small group of amazing moms who are making their way through their journey of grief. These women obviously want to come to a place of healing peace, andt they are not afraid to embrace their grief share their grief with other moms, As we visited and shared something of our personal losses, I was once again touched by the reality that there wasn't one mom at the table who was in denial or wanted to "get over" their loss. These are courageous women who are making their way through their grief, intentional about keeping their child's memory alive, while at the same time seeking understanding and some sense of peace in the company of other moms who know only too well the grief connected to the loss of their children and how that grief can impact our lives.

It was good to be in the company of these moms who have no desire to "get over" the loss of their child, but who honor them by remembering them. I would have thought that the loss of my son, Kevin, would be too much to bear and that I might try to "get over" the pain as quickly as I could, but I know after nearly 15 years that would have dishonored him and that approach would not have helped me in the least. "You are tucked away safely in my heart, Son, and that's where I will keep you from now until we are reunited again. And, I never want to 'get over' you - because you are unforgettable!"

"I thank God upon every remembrance of you." - Phillipians 1:3
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherlikeme.info

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"It's Your Journey"

9/8/2016

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One of my dearest friends suffered the loss of her oldest son many, many years ago, as he committed suicide. A few years ago, she called me to tell me that her son's best friend committed suicide and that she didn't think she could go to the funeral and he was feeling confused and guilty about not going.

Her fear was that going to that young man's funeral would take her back to that horrible place just after the death of her own son. As we talked on the phone, I could hear the heartache and fear in her voice and she kept saying "I should go, I should go, but I don't think I can!"

Listening to her anguish was heartbreaking and I understood her fears and concerns about going to the funeral. Though she wanted to support and comfort his mom, she was afraid that she couldn't handle going somehow.

As we ended our conversatio, I said "You don't have to go to the funeral, but, if you do, remember that it's not your son, you've already buried your child, this is not happening to you again - this is someone else's son and grief. Not your's."

Knowing her as I do, I knew that she would muster up the compassion and courage that she needed to attend the funeral and offer her sympathy to the family. She did go to the funeral and she told me later that it helped for me to remind her that it wasn't her son's funeral - that was behind her and it was important for her to be present to this grieving mom new in her loss.

No one can understand another's journey in this life, whether it be similar or completely different. Each person's journey is their own and it's not for anyone else. In companioning with many hurting moms over the past 14 years, since Kevin's death and during the 10 years that I was the co-founding director of the ministry Mothers LIke Me, I often had to remind myself that I didn't need to fully understand another mom's pain and sorrow or journey, but rather simply be present to them. I did find it challenging, however, to not return to "that place of pain" that I had once experienced, but I did come to realize that I didn't have to go back to that place where my journey through grief began, I have passed through the "valley of the shadow of death," and I don't have to re-live that everytime I come alongside someone who is grieving.

Another important lesson I learned was that I shouldn't expect anyone, even those who have suffered the loss of someone they love to understand my journey - my journey is my own and it is not intended "for them."

With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherlikeme.info

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Simply Marvelous!

"Get Over It?"

"It's Your Journey"

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