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Living Life in Peace

12/14/2021

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Are you at peace this Christmas, or are there issues at hand that weigh heavily on your heart and mind, robbing you of God's blessed peace?

Without God's divine armor (Ephesians 6:10-18) I know I would not be able to withstand the challenges and trials of this world or the attacks from God's enemies, especially Satan, the diabolical enemy of God and His people.

Without God's protection, grace and peace, this blessed season of the year would be even more emotional than it is, as I am missing my dad, mom, brother, sister and son, as well as other dear family members and close friends. Life seems to be moving too fast and I am having to say "goodbye for now," to so many I have loved.

Christmas has always been the "most wonderful time of the year," for me and for my family. Living with the loss of those I love and am remembering past Christmases when we were all together brings a smile to my face, warms my heart, but also hurts my heart, if I let the losses overshadow the reason for the season.

During a Bible study by Priscilla Shirer on the"Armor of God," I was reminded that our battle ". . . is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:12-NIV)

It is settled for me that I belong to God. I have given Him my heart, soul, mind and body to Him, and In order for me to enjoy the protection of His armor and His favor (grace), I must be in a right relationship with Him. At peace with Him and others, as well.

As important as being armed with God's divine armor, I must not only believe in Him, but I must honor Him, trust and obey His commands and rely on His promises as absolute truth. These steps are just the beginning of what it means for me to live in peace.

In one of the daily sessions of Priscilla Shirer's study she encourages participants to contact someone we admire who lives a "peaceful life," and to "ask them "how they effectively apply the peace of God to their life."

Before contacting some women I know who live a peaceful life, I had to answer the question for myself . . .

"My peace is disturbed when I am not consistently in God's Word or when I wander away  to go my own way. My belief and faith in Him requires my all, as I desire to "love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and body." (Mark 12:29-31. The shoes of peace are an important piece of God's armor and is a practical symbol that shows me He expects my faith to be active. I must be willing to give my all and to invite and include Him in every aspect of my life and then I am living in peace." -AnG

The following are excerpts from the responses I received after asking women I admire for the way they live a peaceful life. What remarkable iron-spirited women  God has brought into my life! May their application of the peace of God in their lives encourage you to consider this important question for yourself.

"Honestly, I believe it was God (not me) who applied His peace into my life. And fear was the biggest barrier to receiving peace. As He has revealed aspects of me buried in the mud of guilt and sin, He has shown Himself to be the great deliverer, the ultimate peace-giver! Peace has been the byproduct -the gift - of knowing and experiencing His mercy."
                                                                                                                 - Lana Gray, Poet

"Living in peace is a work in progress for me. I am just coming out of a few days of interrupted peace and frankly, I think that is just part of being human and imperfect, Peace, as we know, is a fruit of the Spirit (Galations 5:22-23), which means as believers, we already have it! The enemy of our soul comes to steal our joy and rob us of the abundant life and peace Christ died for us to have, For me, peace starts with a mindset. It starts by replacing my troublesome thoughts with the truth of God's Word. It starts by thinking about what I'm thinking about . . . . Jesus Christ was spot on when He told us to take every thought captive. So, if I don't FEEL peace, than I have to stop and think about what I am thinking about. The bottom line for me is that my thoughts drive my feelings and feelings drive my actions.  I like the "well" analogy that when we accept Christ, we receive all the fruits of the Spirit and they go into our well, but, life has a way of throwing rocks into our well; rocks like un-forgiveness,  jealousy, sin, compromise, etc. These rocks block the peace in our lives. My simple solution is to ask God to show me what those rocks are so that I can do something about removing them."
- Annie Starke, "a mom like me" and retired Co-Director of Hearts of Hope grief support ministry, Connecticut

"When I sense anxiety arising in me it helps me to go to a Scripture that gives me peace. Memorizing and saying the verse out loud throughout the day has a calming affect on me."    -Jacque Valdez, "a mom like me" and Licensed Family Counselor, "a mom like us"
 
"What helps me live a peaceful life amidst the chaos of today's world, is allowing the Holy Spirit to help me stay present in the moment and not allowing the past or future to rob my peace and joy. Romans 15:13 has become a daily prayer and lifestyle, as I ask the God o living hope to fill me with all joy and peace by the Holy Spirit, as I trust in Him so that I can overflow with hope. How do I do this? I'm mindful of moments when I feel anxious that my peace is being robbed and I ask God to reveal what it is, and then I trust Him with it. Sometimes I do this multiple times a day,"
                                                                -Kathe Wunnenberg, "a mom like me" and Author

May we all live in peace with God and others.

Love in Christ Now and Always,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherlikeme.info



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The Slow Work of God

12/9/2021

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I hope that no one who grieves the loss of a child/children (or anyone we love) tries to tell themselves that they will one day "get over and move on" from grieving, because if we grieve authentically, that most likely will not happen.

Not that we are destined to be stuck in the shadows of death, but it has been my personal experience, and the experiences of hundreds of moms I know and have been in contact with over the past two decades, that there is a time and a season of grieving we cannot ignore or bypass.

After our son, Kevin, died I found a quote from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin's "Hearts on Fire"that I constantly refer to, not just in connection with grief, but as a reminder of the importance of me patiently trusting God with every aspect of my life.

In the aftermath of the loss of my 93 year old Mom in August this year, I am again faced with a hard-hitting loss and grief; the Patient Trust quote by Pierre keep resonating within me . . .

"Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on our way to something unknown, something new. And, yet is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability - and that it may take a very long time . . ."

Once again, just 3 years after the loss of brother, I find myself on my way to "something unknown, something new . . . passing through some stages of instability." I have learned to be patient and to trust God completely and I also agree with Pierre Teilhard's words as I "Give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you (me), and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete."

The word "incomplete" fits me perfectly. I have suffered the loss of my Dad, my Sister, my Brother, my Son and now my Mom . . . boy, do I feel incomplete somehow. Each of these loved ones have taken a piece of my heart with them and I will try not to force myself to pass through this journey of grief in a hurry this time, as I haven't in the past. It will take me a very long time to learn how to live with the loss of my Mom, and I am patient to take all the time I need to process my emotions and heal from yet another significant loss.

What about you precious "mom like me?" Are you trying to force your way through the stages of "anxiety and instability?" I pray you will not "skip the intermediate stages." Like me, you are "on your way to something unknown, something new," and I hope you will trust God to comfort, you heal you, and create a new spirit within you. It may happen soon or it may take a "very long time." May you "give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you."

With Faith, Hope and Love Always,
Angie "a mom like you"


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Hope Is The Key!

12/2/2021

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A few days ago, I was contacted by a grieving mom who has suffered the loss of 3 of her 4 daughters; it was a heart wrenching conversation. To think of such a great loss is simply unthinkable.

This heartbroken mom told me that it is difficult for her when people say, "You are so strong," when she knows she is not strong

She asked if people ever say that about me, and I said, "Yes, they do, and I always tell them, it's God's strength in me, otherwise I'd be a wreck."  She responded, "It's my faith that strengthens me, too!"

We talked awhile and plan to meet in person soon, as she lives in a neighboring town.This hurting mom reminded me of all the other '"moms like me" living with the loss of a child (and maybe other loved ones) who grieve with hope, holding onto their faith.

What kind of hope am I talking about, you might ask? Hope of surviving the grief that comes with the death of a child? Hope that I will be reunited one day in Heaven? Hope that I will not be angry or bitter, feeling and acting like a victim? Hope that I will have compassion for other "moms like me," and will use what I have learned and experienced about grieving with hope on their behalf? Hope that I will not make loss the centerpiece of my life? Hope that my marriage, friendships and relationships will not be diminished or destroyed, because I have changed?  

These were just a few of my hopes after the loss of our son, Kevin, in 2002. But, most of all, I hoped that I would not lose my faith - questioning God's love, His judgement, His timing and His wisdom, as "He gives and takes away" according to His plan, which is meant for good. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Just this morning, I had a conversation with a young woman who I've known since she was born who is going through a VERY scary and difficult season of her life.  We talked about the importance of trusting God, and immersing ourselves in His Word, which Ephesians 6 tells us is the "sword of the spirit." We agreed, as sisters in Christ, that we must use the "sword" to combat the attacks of the enemies of God that seek to steal our peace and joy, as we try to understand why bad things happen to God's people. 

I encouraged this precious young "sister," to arm herself with God's divine armor, as set forth in Ephesians 6, to not listen to voices that try to tell her God is not enough for her, for us. During this trial she is experiencing, she is starting to understand the truth that when God allows bad things to happen to His people, He is fully present and good can come from the bad, if only we will trust Him and not give up hope! (Romans 8:28)

For those of us who have suffered great loss, disappointment and hard times, giving up hope in a loving, good Father God, can set us on a path of hopelessness, draining us and bringing us down into a dark pit of confusion, chaos and despair.

Living with the loss of someone we love can be the hardest thing we ever do. As we step into and walk through the "shadows of death," I believe we can either become more trusting and hopeful, or fall into a dark and lonely place.  How I hope this is not true for you, precious mom.

What are you hoping for today? Are you finding yourself in a sea or pit of hopelessness or are you beginning to see some light at the end of the shadowlands? I hope the latter is true for you! I stand firm on what I have experienced as truth, there is always hope for the hopeful, no matter our circumstances. Our heartache and pain can be used for good to strengthen us, and those without hope. May we never give up hoping that things can be better, because that is God's plan for us - not only better, but ABUNDANTLY better!

I encourage you to visit Kathe Wunnenberg's website at www.hopelifters.com and reading her books, "Grieving the Child I Never Knew," "Grieving the Loss of a Loved One," and "Hopelifters: Creative Ways to Spread Hope When Life Hurts." Kathe is a gifted writer and a woman who possesses great compassion and hope that is contagious.

May we honor those we love and miss by being "hopelifters!" This old hymn resonates with me today, "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' Name. On Christ, the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand - all other ground is sinking sand!"

With Faith, Hope and Love
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com


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    These blog pages are written by and for moms who have suffered the loss of a child.

    May the reflections and expressions of mothers' hearts be a source of comfort, help and encouragement and may you, like these moms, accept God's great exchange as "He gives beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, praise for the spirit of heaviness . . " Isaiah 61:3

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