Who do you know that seems to have the gift or ability to truly "bear with one another in love?" These are the people with gentle, forgiving spirits that sets them apart from the rest of humanity somehow. These are the people who truly know how to love, not loving to be loved in return, but just loving for the sake of love.
In looking at Ephesians 4:2, it seems to me that the key to "bearing with one another" is that we are to be "completely humble, gentle and patient." Completely - fully!!! As human beings, how is that possible?
When I think of what it means to be "humble and gentle," I naturally think of Jesus. He was "completely humble, gentle and patient" and He most certainly "beared" with all of us in love - to the point of death for our redemption and salvation.
Though, I want to be "completely humble, gentle and patient" it really isn't my nature, and so I have to work at this, and it takes a lot of work for me, with God's help!
What about you? Are you someone who is naturally humble, gentle and patient with others - especially as you live with the pain and sorrow of losing a child?
For me, it is easy to bear with other "moms like me" in love, as I understand what they are going through in response to the loss of their child. But, what about with others who don't understand and cannot relate to the heartache of child loss? Am I humble, gentle and patient with them? I have to admit, not so much in the past, but I am getting much better about this now that I am healing and I have learned so much about how grief affects us. And, because finally after more than 16years, the epicenter of my life is not my grief and sorrow, and I find that I am much more patient and loving toward others in the process.
When we are grieving, it is all too easy to judge and criticize those who don't seem to know how to "bear" our pain and sorrow. However, I believe that we must understand that though they may genuinely love us and want to help us, they are not equipped to bear the weight of our sorrows, which is why we need to invite and involve God into our sorrow for His comfort, strength and healing, because no person on Earth can comfort, strengthen and heal as He can and does.
All too often relationships change and even become estranged following the death of a child or a loved one. The loss of a child is a huge burden to bear, and it changes everything; and I have found that if we are not careful, we will be what changes the most and not always for the better - it's much too easy to become angry and even bitter in response to our despair.
And, so I write this blog today reminding myself, as well as other "moms like me," to humble ourselves in our grief, seeking to be "gentle, patient" and loving in the midst of our sufferings, erring on the side of grace whenever possible, "bearing with one another in love" - and this doesn't mean just other grieving moms, but our husbands, family and friends, as well.
Angie "a mom like you"