"Better is one day in Your courts. Better is one day in Your House than a thousand elsewhere."
Listening to this praise song, my attention was turned toward this coming Sunday, January 10th, a day that marks the 14th year since our son, Kevin, entered the "House of God."
We inscribed "How lovely are Thy dwelling places where we are ever praising Thee" on our son's headstone, because even on the day we laid his 28 year-old body to rest, our family believed that he was living eternally, surrounded by pure love, glory, worship and praise in the House of the LORD.
Though, I would prefer that I did not have to imagine my son in Heaven, the truth of God's Word and the promises fleshed out in Jesus (John 3:16) are deeply planted and rooted in my heart and soul. When Kevin headed "home" before me, my faith was tested and refined, as never before, and that is when I began to live my life "on the edge of Eternity."
Aware of all that is going on in our world; the suffering, grief, wars and rumors of war, hate, greed, changes in our Country's foundational principles and values and a surge of secular/humanism, I often ask my Heavenly Father how long He intends me to remain on this Earth. He knows that when He is ready, I am ready for my day in "His courts and His House"
Does this mean that I have given up on life? Absolutely not, just the opposite! I have a lot of living to do and until it is my "day in His courts," I will be intentional to live with greater love, passion and joy. But, because my Dad entered God's "house" when I was just 12 years old and our son took his place there in 2002, the "eyes of my heart" are turned toward my "Father's House."
Even in my most sorrowful, darkest of days following the death of my dad and my son, I did not grieve as one without hope and it has been my personal experience, as I have travelled through the "valley of the shadow of death" that God's promises never disappoint.
Our Father's Courts and House must really be something, if just one day is better than "a thousand elsewhere," which is why I have never wanted my dad or Kevin back, not even for one last look, because I believe with all of my heart that they would only long for their "one day" back in their Father's House rather than being here or anywhere else for a "thousand."
As I look ahead to this Sunday that marks 14 years x 365 days since I last saw my son, I will not focus on the thousands of days that I have lived with the loss of my child, but rather that "one day" when he arrived in the "House of God." I love and miss him, but there is much peace and comfort in imagining him as an active resident and participant in the "Courts of Praise" now and forevermore!
With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a mom like you"