All Categories - "A Mother Like Me"

Are You A Sunflower?

5/5/2022

Many years ago I learned that sunflowers actually track the sun. Just this March, I learned that on cloudy days, sunflowers turn toward other sunflowers. This is amazing to me and surely is a testimony of God's divine plan for us to turn toward one another in the cloudy and stormy times of our lives.

After the death of my youngest son, Kevin, in January 2002, I turned toward the "SON" and toward other "moms like me." God brought many hope-filled grieving women into my life during my cloudy and stormy days. I didn't have to search for them, and I wouldn't have known where to begin searching.

First, He brought close friends who covered me in comfort. Next, He brought Cynthia Weightman; Cynthia and I met at a local grief support group and she turned toward me, as she had suffered the death of her son, Richie, in 2000, and understood what I was experiencing. Through our connection, she introduced me to Umbrella Ministries @ www.umbrellaministries.com.

From these comforting, supportive and encouraging connections Cynthia and I co-founded "Mothers Like Me Comfort Ministry" for grieving moms in Southern California where we companioned with some very special moms. After my husband, Bob, retired
we relocated to Ft. Collins, CO where the ministry was introduced to the community, as I desired to "help more moms in more places."

It's not just other grieving moms that are "sunflowers" in my life, there are many women of faith and hope who are with me in the sunshine and in the cloudy and stormy days and seasons of my life - - and I am with them. These women are like me in that they reach for the SON and turn toward others who follow the SON on cloudy days.

Like the sunflower, God created and intends for me to follow Him, and to turn to other like-minded women in those times and season when I need their comfort, hope and encouragement.

To all the sunflower women in my field of life- I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU and thank God for YOU always! Let's keep following the SON!

With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a sunflower like you"
www.amotherlikeme@gmal.com
562-305-0017 (cell/text)

"A Mother Like Me - Faith, Hope and Love in Loss" Book!

5/3/2022

Twenty years in the making, my book about my journey through grief after the sudden cardiac death of our youngest son, Kevin, is scheduled to be published on Amazon.com this Summer. Putting pen to paper (or fingers to the computer keyboard) was an arduous, but healing process for me, and it put me on an official writer's path, which shows me "with God anything is possible."

This writing experience has been life-changing for me, as it helped me define my voice as nothing has done before. An experienced writer for business and ministry, never did I imagine myself as a published author, but it is going to happen, and I am very pleased with the process and anxious for the process to be finished and the book available in print. I will also do an E-book and possible Audio book in the near future.

God has provided amazing support and encouragement from my husband, sons and their families, many "moms like me," bereavement professionals, those in grief support ministry, as well as many close friends who read the manuscript and encouraged me to get it published. Connections with like-minded writers has been stimulating and my content and copy editors were the best. Currently, I am working with an independent, self-publisher and graphic artist who caught my vision for the artistry and publishing needs, and I can't wait to see the finished product.

I have created a Facebook Author's Page where I will post updated information about the book and process. You can visit that page at https://www.facebook.com/RustyDogBooks. Because I am also working on children's stories and songs, I will be using RustyDogBooks as my publishing icon in remembrance of my beloved brother, Rusty, who drew the cartoon below a few months before he headed of to Heaven in March 2018.

I am also pleased to share that several of the songs I wrote (and am writing) after the death of our son, Kevin, I believe God gave to me to bring much needed whimsy and creativity into my grief-stricken life are being published on Hal Leonard's www.sheetmusicplus.com publishing site.

There is so much creativity in my life right now, "my cup overflows!" Only God could take a heart-broken mom like me and give new life and purpose. I am truly blessed and He has most certainly given me ". . . beauty for ashes, joy for mourning and praise for the spirit of heaviness . . . " (Isaiah 61:3) and I will never stop saying this and proclaiming the goodness and faithfulness of God in my life!

Watch for details about how you can get a copy of my book on Amazon soon. And, for all of you "moms like me" who encouraged me through the years to write my story of loss and healing, THANK YOU! I listened to you and I hope what I share will be of some comfort and encouragement to others to grieve with Faith, Hope and Love.

With Faith, Hope and Love, Angie "a mom like you."

The Stone of Grief

3/22/2022

I read the description of grief as a stone that we carry with us after the loss of someone we love and think it to be profoundly true.

Though our lives go on after loss, anyone who grieves the loss of someone they love knows there will always be a stone of grief we carry, but, may we not cultivate a "heart of stone," which would surely be too great a stone to bear. A stone in my pocket I can bear, a heart of stone and despair I could not bear. How about you?

Grief is Like Carrying a Stone in Your Pocket
“The best way I can describe grief as the years go by is to say it’s similar to carrying a stone in your pocket. When you walk, the stone brushes against your skin. You feel it. You always feel it. But depending on the way you stand or the way your body moves, the smooth edges might barely graze your body.

Sometimes you lean the wrong way or you turn too quickly and a sharp edge pokes you. Your eyes water and you rub your wound, but you have to keep going because not everyone knows about your stone, or if they do, they don’t realize it can still bring this much pain.

There are days you are simply happy now, smiling comes easy and you laugh without thinking. You slap your leg during that laughter and you feel your stone and aren’t sure whether you should be laughing still. The stone still hurts.

Once in a while you can’t take your hand off that stone. You run it over your fingers and roll it in your palm and are so preoccupied by its weight, you forget things like your car keys and home address. You try to leave it alone, but you just can’t. You want to take a nap, but it’s been so many years since you’ve called in “sad” you’re not sure anyone would understand anymore or if they ever did.

But, most days you can take your hand in and out of your pocket, feel your stone and even smile at its unwavering presence. You’ve accepted this stone as your own, crossing your hands over it, saying “mine,” as children do.

You rest more peacefully than you once did, you’ve learned to move forward the best you can. Some days you want to show the world what a beautiful memory you’re holding. But most days you twirl it through your fingers, smile and look to the sky. You squeeze your hands together and hope you are living in a way that honors the missing piece you carry, until your arms are full again.”

Written by
Jessica Watson ~ Four Plus An Angel

Forget the Former Things

3/7/2022

One of my life's Bible verses is Isaiah 43:18-19; what I mean by "life verses," is those scriptures that I immediately put to memory because they spoke specifically into my life at just the right time.

This verse says, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past . . . NIV. Other translations say it this way; "But, forget all that . . .it is nothing compared to what I am going to do." NLT; "Do not call to mind the former things, or consider things of the past." NAS; "But the LORD says, "Do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago." Good News Translation

How many of us can say that we align ourselves with this scripture, especially when it concerns the loss of our child or someone we love who is no longer here with us? Or, when we have experienced hardships, life-altering or life-changing events? Many times in my life, especially where pain and sorrow is concerned, I have "called to mind" things of the past, pondered about how and why certain things happened the way they did, and I have had a difficult time letting go of the past, realizing and paying attention to life going on"right here, right now."

Some might say calling to mind former things is necessary for healing and resolution, but, I have not found that to be true in my life. Looking back, reflecting for a time on events and experiences in the past may help me understand more about myself and how God moves in my life, learning from past mistakes and successes can be helpful somehow, but dwelling, pondering and clinging to the past is not helpful to me at all, and never leads me to healing and peace.

The longer I live, the closer I am to the LORD, and the more I realize and rely on God's Word not only as the "lamp unto my feet and the light unto my path," but, as the living, God-breathed Word that warns me, encourages me and transforms me, but only when I believe what it says, trust it to be the truth and calls me to obey and stand firm on the truth - God's truth - absolute truth!

Recently, Bob and I attended a memorial service and re-burial of a beautiful 7 month old baby who died and was buried in New Mexico more than 14 years ago. The grief expressed by her parents was very painful to watch and experience; 14 years later, their grief seemed as deep and intense as it must have been 14 years ago. I drew close to the precious mom I have been mentoring for a few years and and whispered, "Let her go. Let go of all your pain and sorrow. It's time."

I don't know if this young couple will be able to let go, because their grief connected to the loss of their baby girl is very complicated. But, how I hope and pray they will not continue to bring to mind the past and will live each day with a renewed desire to live free from their past.

What about you? Are there circumstances and events you keep thinking about that keep you "dwelling on the past?' It is my heart's desire that you will take God's wisdom and truth to heart and "forget the past." Though this is not easy to do, the rest of this verse contains a promise, "See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

May you perceive what God is doing to lead you through the wilderness of your grief, providing His "living water" to refresh and revive you, as only He can.

With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com

Finding the Good in Grief

1/19/2022

On January 10, I had to journey back in my mind to that day when our beautiful son, Kevin, headed off to Heaven. Always a painful journey back, I have come to understand that it's a necessary part of living with the loss of our son.

On January 11, I met with a precious mom who was marking 14 years since her daughter died of a rare cancer that also caused the death of her husband years before, and than her second daughter a few years ago.
Imagine losing your husband and both of your daughters. Unthinkable! What good could possibly come from such loss?

When I think of good coming from grief, I think of this mom who used her pain and sorrow to open an orphanage for abandoned children in Guatemala. Imagine such a woman as this!

I can name countless other women like this - women of hope! One precious mom suffered the loss of her young son, daughter, and her dad on the same day. Many mom's children died of a drug overdose or suicide. Several sons and daughters were killed in a tragic car, motorcycle, drowning and mountain climbing accident. Too many young moms were not able to take their baby home from the hospital or they found them gone in their crib because of SIDS. Others watched their child lose their battle with cancer or other health issues. Some, like me, experienced death that came in the form of sudden cardiac death or heart disease.

I know hundreds of precious moms who live and grieve the loss of their children (and grandchildren) with hope and who have found peace, because they have been intentional about looking for and finding the good in their grief journey.

Say what? Good in grief? Yes! I absolutely believe there can be good in our grieving.
There is good in grief if it causes us to examine our lives in light of the reality that we, too, will one day die. Days after Kevin died, at 28 years old, I asked myself, "Am I ready to die? Am I right with God? Am I ready to meet Him and spend Eternity with Him?"

Much good comes to me, when I have opportunities to "comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." (2 Corinthians 1:4) The years I was the co-founding director of Mothers Like Me Grief Care Ministry were very, very good and I met some amazing women in the process

There is good in grief when it changes our priorities. If we live on the surface, never going deep, by having to go deeper, we may discover that there is a life to be lived that we would have never lived, if we had not suffered the pain and heartache of the loss of our beloved child.

I believe there can be good that comes out of grief, but we have to be looking for it. For me, the loss of our son took me deep into the dark waters of sorrow where I found that hope floats.

My grief was all-consuming, but there was always hope. At times, I wasn't sure who I was anymore, overwhelmed with grief, I remembered this promise - "The one (the Spirit of God) who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

As our family comes together in February to lay my mom's remains to rest in our son, Kevin's, double plot, I remember the day, when we laid his body to rest - - 20 years ago. It's not the time that matters most, it's what has taken place within these past 20 years. Bob's and my troubled marriage was saved and our love redeemed and strengthened. My faith was strengthened and the hope of Eternity came alive in me as never before. When I connected my hurt to the Healer, so much good came with His healing touch.

One of my favorite songs is by Mercy Me with a line that says, "I am alive, though part of me has died, I am alive." Life goes on and I choose life - what about you?

What is your hope in life and death?

With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com

Are you an "Iron-Spirited Woman?

1/6/2022

Each New Year, I spend quality time with the LORD, asking Him to speak to me about how I might respond to His call on my life, a kind of what now, LORD? time for me.

He is always faithful to answer my questions like,
"What do you require of me this year?" "What should be this year's priorities?" "How can I make a difference somehow?" "Will I be a blessing?" "Where do you want to serve?" "Who do you want me to serve or help?"

Last Fall, Kathe Wunnenberg, author and founding director of www.hopelifters.com. told me that I am an "iron-spirited woman" with a "marathon mentality of faith to finish well."

In response, God has now set me on a path of ministry for other "iron-spirited" women of faith.

As I considered what it means to be an "iron-spirited woman," the following is the description and Scriptures that I have put together, as I come into fellowship with like-minded Christian women here in my home town of Ft Collins, CO, and online.

The Description of an "Iron-Spirited" Woman
An iron-spirited woman has solid values and opinions about life. She is not someone who wanders through life, but rather lives intentionally with a specific outlook on life.

An “iron-spirited” woman is a joyful, happy woman, desiring freedom, contentment and peace.

An “iron-spirited” woman is a multi-dimensional woman - she is never boring.

An “iron-spirited” woman is humble, yet a force for good in her family, group of friends, neighborhood, church, community, etc.

An “iron-spirited” woman is . . .
Humble
Soulful
Cheerfully optimistic
Energetic
Hopeful
Enthusiastic
Lively
Confident
Determined
Brave
Courageous

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30) It doesn’t really matter what this woman looks like or what she has, she is a woman who loves the LORD with all of her heart, soul, mind and body and that's what matters most of all to her.

“God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.” (Psalm 46:5) God is with us always, even in the most difficult and challenging times of our lives, and He promises to give us His strength for each and everyday.

“But, by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. (I Corinthians 15:10) We are made in God’s image and the LORD supports us when we work hard. He honors us with His grace.

“She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.” (Proverbs 31:16-17). If an “iron-spirited” woman sets her mind and attention on something she will get it done. She never quits or lives in denial about the reality of her circumstances, responsibilities, challenges and/or opportunities.

“She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.” (Proverbs 31:20-21) “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” (Proverbs 31:27) Iron-spirited women are not lazy, indulgent or hesitant about seeing to the needs and affairs of her husband, family and home. She is pleased, obedient and happy to follow the LORD’s call on her life, and to help and serve others. Those in need are her priority and she expects nothing in return.

“I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.” (Psalm 139:14) God created us and we are precious in His sight. For that divine love, we are most thankful.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)
We are not afraid of anything, do not have a spirit of fear that troubles or torments us, because we know God is with us always and we can gain power from Him because of His love and protection. This is also because we have put on the full armor of God and are equipped to do battle in the heavenlies (spiritual warfare) rather than in the flesh.

“Nevertheless, in the Lord, woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.” (I Corinthians 11-12) Men and women are intended to rely on each other as equal partners (co-laborers) in life. An iron-spirited woman respects her man and the role and God-given position of man, as providers, protectors, husbands, fathers and leaders.

“Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” (I Peter 3:3-4). We are more concerned about being women of substance rather than outwardly beautiful. We focus on our heart and the hearts of others. Our beauty comes from being filled with the spirit of God and being transformed in the likeness of Christ so that our inner beauty will shine.

“She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.” (Proverbs 31:15) We are more valuable than the precious gems and jewels on the earth. We should be treated well, loved and cared for, and we will return the love.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.” (Proverbs 31:25) We have absolutely no reason to fear the future or life after death, because of God’s love, grace and gift of eternal life through Jesus, our Redeeming King.

“Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.” (I Timothy 3:11) We are faithful in all things and to God, our husband, children, other loved ones, friends, careers, daily tasks, ministries and so much more.

“And, blessed is she who believed that there would be fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.” (Luke 1:45) When we ask for anything of the Lord, He listens and provides according to His will and purpose for what is good. We believe and stand firm on this truth.

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26). We think before we speak. When we speak, it is with kindness and good intentions. We are some of the first to spread God’s Word, especially teaching and fleshing out His Word to our children and younger women.

An "iron-spirited woman" uses her spiritual gifts to honor God and help others draw closer to Him. She never gives up, never quits on Him. She forgives and forgets the wrongs of others. She prays about everything large and small. She sits quietly in the presence of God and listens for the voice of her Shepherd. She doesn't wander away from Him or rely on her own understanding. She digs into His Word and makes sure it is the "lamp unto her feet and the light unto her path." (Psalm 119:105) She doesn't blame God or turn away from Him because of her circumstances, she trusts Him and looks for the good. She doesn't consider think or act like a victim.

An "iron-spirited woman" 'walks by faith and not by sigh' (2 Corinthians 5:7). She seeks out, walks with and builds up other like-minded women for encouragement and support throughout her walk here on earth.

An "iron-spirited" woman lives and acts like she will one day be a citizen and resident of Heaven. She lives in joyful surrender, anticipating the day when she will hear God say, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things, Come and share your Master's happiness."
(Matthew 25:23 - NIV)

With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "an iron-spirited woman like you"

My Plan for 2022 is to Fill It With Jesus!

1/1/2022

As I look back on 2021, once again I have a testament of praise for the faithfulness of God throughout the year. Not because my circumstances have been altogether peaceful, there have been many challenges, and heartache in the loss of my beloved Mom in August.

It has also been challenging for me to watch world events unfold, and to become more aware of how quickly Bible prophecy about the end times and the second coming of Jesus is unfolding,

As we move into 2022, I have a sense of urgency to tell everyone Jesus is coming soon.

I also wonder just when God will take His spirit out of the world, which would be a world I wouldn't want to be in for a single moment.

Do you have eyes and Biblical knowledge to help you see what is happening in the world; how many governments are moving toward socialism, communism and totalitarianism. How the COVID pandemic is being used to do away with individual risks and freedoms, changing societies and cultures, because of fear, and what seems to be an unquenchable obsession for power and control. And, it also seems to me that we are on a fast track toward a worldwide spirit of "anti-Christ."

I was very sad to hear from a couple that we support in ministry soon to relocate to Ednburgh, Scotland, that Scotland is now considered a "post-Christian country." As I consider all that is going on throughout the world, it doesn't take a prophet or a genius to see that this is a trend that is fast taking hold around the globe. There's a wildfire of human secularism that's threatening our lives as believers and followers of Christ.

I am not a prophet, I cannot see into the future or provide forecasts and predictions, but I have a strong sense that 2022 is going to be quite a year. What about you? Where do you believe we are in the unfolding of a "new world order?" There is a World Health Organization, a world banking system, and I wonder how long it will be before a world government becomes a reality. I'm not a pessimist (I've read the last pages in Revelation) and I know much of what God promises us, His people, but, I believe the end of our age/world is approaching more quickly than we may think, and I want to not only be faithful, but courageous, brave and true to God's truth no matter the risks, the challenges and the circumstances we may face.

Could 2022 be the year we see major changes in our Country and our world? Are you prepared and equipped to stand on the truth and promises of God in the midst of all that is changing?

As you look ahead into 2022, how's your faith in a faithful God? Where do you stand on things? Are you focused on filling 2022 with Jesus?

"Filling 2022 with Jesus" is my focus for the year, and I will SHOUT and rejoice that I am His, and I know what side of things I am on - His side!

This is the acronym I will use this year . . .
S=Seek God
H=Hear Him speak through His Word and those who also hear Him speak
O=Obey Him (be who He wants me to be and do what He wants me to do)
U=Understand His plan for my life more definitively
T=Trust Him and Him alone

If you would like to know more about the end of days, I encourage you to do a Daniel and Revelation Bible Study - - Beth Moore's are my favorite, but there's a plethora of
studies available. I hope you will take advantage of the resources available, and that your faith will increase this year, as you connect with and go deeper with God, dig into His Word and connect with others who are faithful and true to our beloved Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And, remember, there's hope - just read the last pages in Revelations.

With Faith, Hope and Love for 2022,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com

"The end of the world is coming soon. Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers. Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay, God has given each of you a gift from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. . . then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to Him forever and ever! Amen." 1 Peter 4:7-11

Living Life in Peace

12/14/2021

Are you at peace this Christmas, or are there issues at hand that weigh heavily on your heart and mind, robbing you of God's blessed peace?

Without God's divine armor (Ephesians 6:10-18) I know I would not be able to withstand the challenges and trials of this world or the attacks from God's enemies, especially Satan, the diabolical enemy of God and His people.

Without God's protection, grace and peace, this blessed season of the year would be even more emotional than it is, as I am missing my dad, mom, brother, sister and son, as well as other dear family members and close friends. Life seems to be moving too fast and I am having to say "goodbye for now," to so many I have loved.

Christmas has always been the "most wonderful time of the year," for me and for my family. Living with the loss of those I love and am remembering past Christmases when we were all together brings a smile to my face, warms my heart, but also hurts my heart, if I let the losses overshadow the reason for the season.

During a Bible study by Priscilla Shirer on the"Armor of God," I was reminded that our battle ". . . is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:12-NIV)

It is settled for me that I belong to God. I have given Him my heart, soul, mind and body to Him, and In order for me to enjoy the protection of His armor and His favor (grace), I must be in a right relationship with Him. At peace with Him and others, as well.

As important as being armed with God's divine armor, I must not only believe in Him, but I must honor Him, trust and obey His commands and rely on His promises as absolute truth. These steps are just the beginning of what it means for me to live in peace.

In one of the daily sessions of Priscilla Shirer's study she encourages participants to contact someone we admire who lives a "peaceful life," and to "ask them "how they effectively apply the peace of God to their life."

Before contacting some women I know who live a peaceful life, I had to answer the question for myself . . .

"My peace is disturbed when I am not consistently in God's Word or when I wander away to go my own way. My belief and faith in Him requires my all, as I desire to "love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and body." (Mark 12:29-31. The shoes of peace are an important piece of God's armor and is a practical symbol that shows me He expects my faith to be active. I must be willing to give my all and to invite and include Him in every aspect of my life and then I am living in peace." -AnG

The following are excerpts from the responses I received after asking women I admire for the way they live a peaceful life. What remarkable iron-spirited women God has brought into my life! May their application of the peace of God in their lives encourage you to consider this important question for yourself.

"Honestly, I believe it was God (not me) who applied His peace into my life. And fear was the biggest barrier to receiving peace. As He has revealed aspects of me buried in the mud of guilt and sin, He has shown Himself to be the great deliverer, the ultimate peace-giver! Peace has been the byproduct -the gift - of knowing and experiencing His mercy."
                                                                                                                 - Lana Gray, Poet

"Living in peace is a work in progress for me. I am just coming out of a few days of interrupted peace and frankly, I think that is just part of being human and imperfect, Peace, as we know, is a fruit of the Spirit (Galations 5:22-23), which means as believers, we already have it! The enemy of our soul comes to steal our joy and rob us of the abundant life and peace Christ died for us to have, For me, peace starts with a mindset. It starts by replacing my troublesome thoughts with the truth of God's Word. It starts by thinking about what I'm thinking about . . . . Jesus Christ was spot on when He told us to take every thought captive. So, if I don't FEEL peace, than I have to stop and think about what I am thinking about. The bottom line for me is that my thoughts drive my feelings and feelings drive my actions. I like the "well" analogy that when we accept Christ, we receive all the fruits of the Spirit and they go into our well, but, life has a way of throwing rocks into our well; rocks like un-forgiveness, jealousy, sin, compromise, etc. These rocks block the peace in our lives. My simple solution is to ask God to show me what those rocks are so that I can do something about removing them."
- Annie Starke, "a mom like me" and retired Co-Director of Hearts of Hope grief support ministry, Connecticut

"When I sense anxiety arising in me it helps me to go to a Scripture that gives me peace. Memorizing and saying the verse out loud throughout the day has a calming affect on me."    -Jacque Valdez, "a mom like me" and Licensed Family Counselor, "a mom like us"

"What helps me live a peaceful life amidst the chaos of today's world, is allowing the Holy Spirit to help me stay present in the moment and not allowing the past or future to rob my peace and joy. Romans 15:13 has become a daily prayer and lifestyle, as I ask the God o living hope to fill me with all joy and peace by the Holy Spirit, as I trust in Him so that I can overflow with hope. How do I do this? I'm mindful of moments when I feel anxious that my peace is being robbed and I ask God to reveal what it is, and then I trust Him with it. Sometimes I do this multiple times a day,"
                                                                -Kathe Wunnenberg, "a mom like me" and Author

May we all live in peace with God and others.

Love in Christ Now and Always,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherlikeme.info

The Slow Work of God

12/9/2021

I hope that no one who grieves the loss of a child/children (or anyone we love) tries to tell themselves that they will one day "get over and move on" from grieving, because if we grieve authentically, that most likely will not happen.

Not that we are destined to be stuck in the shadows of death, but it has been my personal experience, and the experiences of hundreds of moms I know and have been in contact with over the past two decades, that there is a time and a season of grieving we cannot ignore or bypass.

After our son, Kevin, died I found a quote from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin's "Hearts on Fire"that I constantly refer to, not just in connection with grief, but as a reminder of the importance of me patiently trusting God with every aspect of my life.

In the aftermath of the loss of my 93 year old Mom in August this year, I am again faced with a hard-hitting loss and grief; the Patient Trust quote by Pierre keep resonating within me . . .

"Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on our way to something unknown, something new. And, yet is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability - and that it may take a very long time . . ."

Once again, just 3 years after the loss of brother, I find myself on my way to "something unknown, something new . . . passing through some stages of instability." I have learned to be patient and to trust God completely and I also agree with Pierre Teilhard's words as I "Give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you (me), and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete."

The word "incomplete" fits me perfectly. I have suffered the loss of my Dad, my Sister, my Brother, my Son and now my Mom . . . boy, do I feel incomplete somehow. Each of these loved ones have taken a piece of my heart with them and I will try not to force myself to pass through this journey of grief in a hurry this time, as I haven't in the past. It will take me a very long time to learn how to live with the loss of my Mom, and I am patient to take all the time I need to process my emotions and heal from yet another significant loss.

What about you precious "mom like me?" Are you trying to force your way through the stages of "anxiety and instability?" I pray you will not "skip the intermediate stages." Like me, you are "on your way to something unknown, something new," and I hope you will trust God to comfort, you heal you, and create a new spirit within you. It may happen soon or it may take a "very long time." May you "give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you."

With Faith, Hope and Love Always,
Angie "a mom like you"

Hope Is The Key!

12/2/2021

A few days ago, I was contacted by a grieving mom who has suffered the loss of 3 of her 4 daughters; it was a heart wrenching conversation. To think of such a great loss is simply unthinkable.

This heartbroken mom told me that it is difficult for her when people say, "You are so strong," when she knows she is not strong

She asked if people ever say that about me, and I said, "Yes, they do, and I always tell them, it's God's strength in me, otherwise I'd be a wreck." She responded, "It's my faith that strengthens me, too!"

We talked awhile and plan to meet in person soon, as she lives in a neighboring town.This hurting mom reminded me of all the other '"moms like me" living with the loss of a child (and maybe other loved ones) who grieve with hope, holding onto their faith.

What kind of hope am I talking about, you might ask? Hope of surviving the grief that comes with the death of a child? Hope that I will be reunited one day in Heaven? Hope that I will not be angry or bitter, feeling and acting like a victim? Hope that I will have compassion for other "moms like me," and will use what I have learned and experienced about grieving with hope on their behalf? Hope that I will not make loss the centerpiece of my life? Hope that my marriage, friendships and relationships will not be diminished or destroyed, because I have changed?

These were just a few of my hopes after the loss of our son, Kevin, in 2002. But, most of all, I hoped that I would not lose my faith - questioning God's love, His judgement, His timing and His wisdom, as "He gives and takes away" according to His plan, which is meant for good. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Just this morning, I had a conversation with a young woman who I've known since she was born who is going through a VERY scary and difficult season of her life. We talked about the importance of trusting God, and immersing ourselves in His Word, which Ephesians 6 tells us is the "sword of the spirit." We agreed, as sisters in Christ, that we must use the "sword" to combat the attacks of the enemies of God that seek to steal our peace and joy, as we try to understand why bad things happen to God's people.

I encouraged this precious young "sister," to arm herself with God's divine armor, as set forth in Ephesians 6, to not listen to voices that try to tell her God is not enough for her, for us. During this trial she is experiencing, she is starting to understand the truth that when God allows bad things to happen to His people, He is fully present and good can come from the bad, if only we will trust Him and not give up hope! (Romans 8:28)

For those of us who have suffered great loss, disappointment and hard times, giving up hope in a loving, good Father God, can set us on a path of hopelessness, draining us and bringing us down into a dark pit of confusion, chaos and despair.

Living with the loss of someone we love can be the hardest thing we ever do. As we step into and walk through the "shadows of death," I believe we can either become more trusting and hopeful, or fall into a dark and lonely place. How I hope this is not true for you, precious mom.

What are you hoping for today? Are you finding yourself in a sea or pit of hopelessness or are you beginning to see some light at the end of the shadowlands? I hope the latter is true for you! I stand firm on what I have experienced as truth, there is always hope for the hopeful, no matter our circumstances. Our heartache and pain can be used for good to strengthen us, and those without hope. May we never give up hoping that things can be better, because that is God's plan for us - not only better, but ABUNDANTLY better!

I encourage you to visit Kathe Wunnenberg's website at www.hopelifters.com and reading her books, "Grieving the Child I Never Knew," "Grieving the Loss of a Loved One," and "Hopelifters: Creative Ways to Spread Hope When Life Hurts." Kathe is a gifted writer and a woman who possesses great compassion and hope that is contagious.

May we honor those we love and miss by being "hopelifters!" This old hymn resonates with me today, "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' Name. On Christ, the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand - all other ground is sinking sand!"

With Faith, Hope and Love
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com