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Finding the Good in Grief

1/19/2022

On January 10, I had to journey back in my mind to that day when our beautiful son, Kevin, headed off to Heaven. Always a painful journey back, I have come to understand that it's a necessary part of living with the loss of our son.

On January 11, I met with a precious mom who was marking 14 years since her daughter died of a rare cancer that also caused the death of her husband years before, and than her second daughter a few years ago.
Imagine losing your husband and both of your daughters. Unthinkable! What good could possibly come from such loss?

When I think of good coming from grief, I think of this mom who used her pain and sorrow to open an orphanage for abandoned children in Guatemala. Imagine such a woman as this!

I can name countless other women like this - women of hope! One precious mom suffered the loss of her young son, daughter, and her dad on the same day. Many mom's children died of a drug overdose or suicide. Several sons and daughters were killed in a tragic car, motorcycle, drowning and mountain climbing accident. Too many young moms were not able to take their baby home from the hospital or they found them gone in their crib because of SIDS. Others watched their child lose their battle with cancer or other health issues. Some, like me, experienced death that came in the form of sudden cardiac death or heart disease.

I know hundreds of precious moms who live and grieve the loss of their children (and grandchildren) with hope and who have found peace, because they have been intentional about looking for and finding the good in their grief journey.

Say what? Good in grief? Yes! I absolutely believe there can be good in our grieving.
There is good in grief if it causes us to examine our lives in light of the reality that we, too, will one day die. Days after Kevin died, at 28 years old, I asked myself, "Am I ready to die? Am I right with God? Am I ready to meet Him and spend Eternity with Him?"

Much good comes to me, when I have opportunities to "comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." (2 Corinthians 1:4) The years I was the co-founding director of Mothers Like Me Grief Care Ministry were very, very good and I met some amazing women in the process

There is good in grief when it changes our priorities. If we live on the surface, never going deep, by having to go deeper, we may discover that there is a life to be lived that we would have never lived, if we had not suffered the pain and heartache of the loss of our beloved child.

I believe there can be good that comes out of grief, but we have to be looking for it. For me, the loss of our son took me deep into the dark waters of sorrow where I found that hope floats.

My grief was all-consuming, but there was always hope. At times, I wasn't sure who I was anymore, overwhelmed with grief, I remembered this promise - "The one (the Spirit of God) who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

As our family comes together in February to lay my mom's remains to rest in our son, Kevin's, double plot, I remember the day, when we laid his body to rest - - 20 years ago. It's not the time that matters most, it's what has taken place within these past 20 years. Bob's and my troubled marriage was saved and our love redeemed and strengthened. My faith was strengthened and the hope of Eternity came alive in me as never before. When I connected my hurt to the Healer, so much good came with His healing touch.

One of my favorite songs is by Mercy Me with a line that says, "I am alive, though part of me has died, I am alive." Life goes on and I choose life - what about you?

What is your hope in life and death?

With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com

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Are you an "Iron-Spirited Woman?

1/6/2022

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Each New Year, I spend quality time with the LORD, asking Him to speak to me about how I might respond to His call on my life.

He is always faithful to answer my questions like,
"What do you require of me this year?" "What should be this year's priorities?" "How can I make a difference somehow?" "Will I be a blessing?"

Last Fall, Kathe Wunnenberg, author and founding director of www.hopelifters.com told me that I am an "iron-spirited woman" with a "marathon mentality of faith."

In response to those words of insight and wisdom, God set me on a path of ministry for other "iron-spirited" women of faith.

As I considered what it means to be an "iron-spirited" woman, the following is the description and Scriptures that I have put together, as I come into fellowship with like-minded Christian women here in my home town of Ft Collins, CO, and online.

The Description of an "Iron-Spirited" Woman
An iron-spirited woman has solid values and opinions about life. She is not someone who wanders through life, but rather lives intentionally with a specific outlook on life.

An “iron-spirited” woman is a joyful, happy woman, desiring freedom, contentment and peace.

An “iron-spirited” woman is a multi-dimensional woman - she is never boring.

An “iron-spirited” woman is humble, yet a force for good in her family, group of friends, neighborhood, church, community, etc.

An “iron-spirited” woman is . . .
Humble
Soulful
Cheerfully optimistic
Energetic
Hopeful
Enthusiastic
Lively
Confident
Determined
Brave
Courageous

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30) It doesn’t really matter what this woman looks like or what she has, she is a woman who loves the LORD with all of her heart, soul, mind and body and that's what matters most of all to her.

“God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.” (Psalm 46:5) God is with us always, even in the most difficult and challenging times of our lives, and He promises to give us His strength for each and everyday.

“But, by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. (I Corinthians 15:10) We are made in God’s image and the LORD supports us when we work hard. He honors us with His grace.

“She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.” (Proverbs 31:16-17). If an “iron-spirited” woman sets her mind and attention on something she will get it done. She never quits or lives in denial about the reality of her circumstances, responsibilities, challenges and/or opportunities.

“She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.” (Proverbs 31:20-21) “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” (Proverbs 31:27) Iron-spirited women are not lazy, indulgent or hesitant about seeing to the needs and affairs of her husband, family and home. She is pleased, obedient and happy to follow the LORD’s call on her life, and to help and serve others. Those in need are her priority and she expects nothing in return.

“I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.” (Psalm 139:14) God created us and we are precious in His sight. For that divine love, we are most thankful.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)
We are not afraid of anything, do not have a spirit of fear that troubles or torments us, because we know God is with us always and we can gain power from Him because of His love and protection. This is also because we have put on the full armor of God and are equipped to do battle in the heavenlies (spiritual warfare) rather than in the flesh.

“Nevertheless, in the Lord, woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.” (I Corinthians 11-12) Men and women are intended to rely on each other as equal partners (co-laborers) in life. An iron-spirited woman respects her man and the role and God-given position of man, as providers, protectors, husbands, fathers and leaders.

“Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” (I Peter 3:3-4). We are more concerned about being women of substance rather than outwardly beautiful. We focus on our heart and the hearts of others. Our beauty comes from being filled with the spirit of God and being transformed in the likeness of Christ so that our inner beauty will shine.

“She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.” (Proverbs 31:15) We are more valuable than the precious gems and jewels on the earth. We should be treated well, loved and cared for, and we will return the love.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.” (Proverbs 31:25) We have absolutely no reason to fear the future or life after death, because of God’s love, grace and gift of eternal life through Jesus, our Redeeming King.

“Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.” (I Timothy 3:11) We are faithful in all things and to God, our husband, children, other loved ones, friends, careers, daily tasks, ministries and so much more.

“And, blessed is she who believed that there would be fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.” (Luke 1:45) When we ask for anything of the Lord, He listens and provides according to His will and purpose for what is good. We believe and stand firm on this truth.

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26). We think before we speak. When we speak, it is with kindness and good intentions. We are some of the first to spread God’s Word, especially teaching and fleshing out His Word to our children and younger women.

An "iron-spirited woman" uses her spiritual gifts to honor God and help others draw closer to Him. She never gives up, never quits on Him. She forgives and forgets the wrongs of others. She prays about everything large and small. She sits quietly in the presence of God and listens for the voice of her Shepherd. She doesn't wander away from Him or rely on her own understanding. She digs into His Word and makes sure it is the "lamp unto her feet and the light unto her path." (Psalm 119:105) She doesn't blame God or turn away from Him because of her circumstances, she trusts Him and looks for the good. She doesn't consider think or act like a victim.

An "iron-spirited woman" 'walks by faith and not by sigh' (2 Corinthians 5:7). She seeks out, walks with and builds up other like-minded women for encouragement and support throughout her walk here on earth.

An "iron-spirited" woman lives and acts like she will one day be a citizen and resident of Heaven. She lives in joyful surrender, anticipating the day when she will hear God say, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things, Come and share your Master's happiness."
(Matthew 25:23 - NIV)

With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "an iron-spirited woman like you"

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My Plan for 2022 is to Fill It With Jesus!

1/1/2022

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As I look back on 2021, once again I have a testament of praise for the faithfulness of God throughout the year. Not because my circumstances have been altogether peaceful, there have been many challenges, and heartache in the loss of my beloved Mom in August.

It has also been challenging for me to watch world events unfold, and to become more aware of how quickly Bible prophecy about the end times and the second coming of Jesus is unfolding,

As we move into 2022, I have a sense of urgency to tell everyone Jesus is coming soon.

I also wonder just when God will take His spirit out of the world, which would be a world I wouldn't want to be in for a single moment.

Do you have eyes and Biblical knowledge to help you see what is happening in the world; how many governments are moving toward socialism, communism and totalitarianism. How the COVID pandemic is being used to do away with individual risks and freedoms, changing societies and cultures, because of fear, and what seems to be an unquenchable obsession for power and control. And, it also seems to me that we are on a fast track toward a worldwide spirit of "anti-Christ."

I was very sad to hear from a couple that we support in ministry soon to relocate to Ednburgh, Scotland, that Scotland is now considered a "post-Christian country." As I consider all that is going on throughout the world, it doesn't take a prophet or a genius to see that this is a trend that is fast taking hold around the globe. There's a wildfire of human secularism that's threatening our lives as believers and followers of Christ.

I am not a prophet, I cannot see into the future or provide forecasts and predictions, but I have a strong sense that 2022 is going to be quite a year. What about you? Where do you believe we are in the unfolding of a "new world order?" There is a World Health Organization, a world banking system, and I wonder how long it will be before a world government becomes a reality. I'm not a pessimist (I've read the last pages in Revelation) and I know much of what God promises us, His people, but, I believe the end of our age/world is approaching more quickly than we may think, and I want to not only be faithful, but courageous, brave and true to God's truth no matter the risks, the challenges and the circumstances we may face.

Could 2022 be the year we see major changes in our Country and our world? Are you prepared and equipped to stand on the truth and promises of God in the midst of all that is changing?

As you look ahead into 2022, how's your faith in a faithful God? Where do you stand on things? Are you focused on filling 2022 with Jesus?

"Filling 2022 with Jesus" is my focus for the year, and I will SHOUT and rejoice that I am His, and I know what side of things I am on - His side!

This is the acronym I will use this year . . .
S=Seek God
H=Hear Him speak through His Word and those who also hear Him speak
O=Obey Him (be who He wants me to be and do what He wants me to do)
U=Understand His plan for my life more definitively
T=Trust Him and Him alone

If you would like to know more about the end of days, I encourage you to do a Daniel and Revelation Bible Study - - Beth Moore's are my favorite, but there's a plethora of
studies available. I hope you will take advantage of the resources available, and that your faith will increase this year, as you connect with and go deeper with God, dig into His Word and connect with others who are faithful and true to our beloved Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And, remember, there's hope - just read the last pages in Revelations.

With Faith, Hope and Love for 2022,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com

"The end of the world is coming soon. Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers. Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay, God has given each of you a gift from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. . . then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to Him forever and ever! Amen." 1 Peter 4:7-11

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Living Life in Peace

12/14/2021

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Are you at peace this Christmas, or are there issues at hand that weigh heavily on your heart and mind, robbing you of God's blessed peace?

Without God's divine armor (Ephesians 6:10-18) I know I would not be able to withstand the challenges and trials of this world or the attacks from God's enemies, especially Satan, the diabolical enemy of God and His people.

Without God's protection, grace and peace, this blessed season of the year would be even more emotional than it is, as I am missing my dad, mom, brother, sister and son, as well as other dear family members and close friends. Life seems to be moving too fast and I am having to say "goodbye for now," to so many I have loved.

Christmas has always been the "most wonderful time of the year," for me and for my family. Living with the loss of those I love and am remembering past Christmases when we were all together brings a smile to my face, warms my heart, but also hurts my heart, if I let the losses overshadow the reason for the season.

During a Bible study by Priscilla Shirer on the"Armor of God," I was reminded that our battle ". . . is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:12-NIV)

It is settled for me that I belong to God. I have given Him my heart, soul, mind and body to Him, and In order for me to enjoy the protection of His armor and His favor (grace), I must be in a right relationship with Him. At peace with Him and others, as well.

As important as being armed with God's divine armor, I must not only believe in Him, but I must honor Him, trust and obey His commands and rely on His promises as absolute truth. These steps are just the beginning of what it means for me to live in peace.

In one of the daily sessions of Priscilla Shirer's study she encourages participants to contact someone we admire who lives a "peaceful life," and to "ask them "how they effectively apply the peace of God to their life."

Before contacting some women I know who live a peaceful life, I had to answer the question for myself . . .

"My peace is disturbed when I am not consistently in God's Word or when I wander away to go my own way. My belief and faith in Him requires my all, as I desire to "love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and body." (Mark 12:29-31. The shoes of peace are an important piece of God's armor and is a practical symbol that shows me He expects my faith to be active. I must be willing to give my all and to invite and include Him in every aspect of my life and then I am living in peace." -AnG

The following are excerpts from the responses I received after asking women I admire for the way they live a peaceful life. What remarkable iron-spirited women God has brought into my life! May their application of the peace of God in their lives encourage you to consider this important question for yourself.

"Honestly, I believe it was God (not me) who applied His peace into my life. And fear was the biggest barrier to receiving peace. As He has revealed aspects of me buried in the mud of guilt and sin, He has shown Himself to be the great deliverer, the ultimate peace-giver! Peace has been the byproduct -the gift - of knowing and experiencing His mercy."
                                                                                                                 - Lana Gray, Poet

"Living in peace is a work in progress for me. I am just coming out of a few days of interrupted peace and frankly, I think that is just part of being human and imperfect, Peace, as we know, is a fruit of the Spirit (Galations 5:22-23), which means as believers, we already have it! The enemy of our soul comes to steal our joy and rob us of the abundant life and peace Christ died for us to have, For me, peace starts with a mindset. It starts by replacing my troublesome thoughts with the truth of God's Word. It starts by thinking about what I'm thinking about . . . . Jesus Christ was spot on when He told us to take every thought captive. So, if I don't FEEL peace, than I have to stop and think about what I am thinking about. The bottom line for me is that my thoughts drive my feelings and feelings drive my actions. I like the "well" analogy that when we accept Christ, we receive all the fruits of the Spirit and they go into our well, but, life has a way of throwing rocks into our well; rocks like un-forgiveness, jealousy, sin, compromise, etc. These rocks block the peace in our lives. My simple solution is to ask God to show me what those rocks are so that I can do something about removing them."
- Annie Starke, "a mom like me" and retired Co-Director of Hearts of Hope grief support ministry, Connecticut

"When I sense anxiety arising in me it helps me to go to a Scripture that gives me peace. Memorizing and saying the verse out loud throughout the day has a calming affect on me."    -Jacque Valdez, "a mom like me" and Licensed Family Counselor, "a mom like us"

"What helps me live a peaceful life amidst the chaos of today's world, is allowing the Holy Spirit to help me stay present in the moment and not allowing the past or future to rob my peace and joy. Romans 15:13 has become a daily prayer and lifestyle, as I ask the God o living hope to fill me with all joy and peace by the Holy Spirit, as I trust in Him so that I can overflow with hope. How do I do this? I'm mindful of moments when I feel anxious that my peace is being robbed and I ask God to reveal what it is, and then I trust Him with it. Sometimes I do this multiple times a day,"
                                                                -Kathe Wunnenberg, "a mom like me" and Author

May we all live in peace with God and others.

Love in Christ Now and Always,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherlikeme.info

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The Slow Work of God

12/9/2021

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I hope that no one who grieves the loss of a child/children (or anyone we love) tries to tell themselves that they will one day "get over and move on" from grieving, because if we grieve authentically, that most likely will not happen.

Not that we are destined to be stuck in the shadows of death, but it has been my personal experience, and the experiences of hundreds of moms I know and have been in contact with over the past two decades, that there is a time and a season of grieving we cannot ignore or bypass.

After our son, Kevin, died I found a quote from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin's "Hearts on Fire"that I constantly refer to, not just in connection with grief, but as a reminder of the importance of me patiently trusting God with every aspect of my life.

In the aftermath of the loss of my 93 year old Mom in August this year, I am again faced with a hard-hitting loss and grief; the Patient Trust quote by Pierre keep resonating within me . . .

"Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on our way to something unknown, something new. And, yet is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability - and that it may take a very long time . . ."

Once again, just 3 years after the loss of brother, I find myself on my way to "something unknown, something new . . . passing through some stages of instability." I have learned to be patient and to trust God completely and I also agree with Pierre Teilhard's words as I "Give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you (me), and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete."

The word "incomplete" fits me perfectly. I have suffered the loss of my Dad, my Sister, my Brother, my Son and now my Mom . . . boy, do I feel incomplete somehow. Each of these loved ones have taken a piece of my heart with them and I will try not to force myself to pass through this journey of grief in a hurry this time, as I haven't in the past. It will take me a very long time to learn how to live with the loss of my Mom, and I am patient to take all the time I need to process my emotions and heal from yet another significant loss.

What about you precious "mom like me?" Are you trying to force your way through the stages of "anxiety and instability?" I pray you will not "skip the intermediate stages." Like me, you are "on your way to something unknown, something new," and I hope you will trust God to comfort, you heal you, and create a new spirit within you. It may happen soon or it may take a "very long time." May you "give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you."

With Faith, Hope and Love Always,
Angie "a mom like you"

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Hope Is The Key!

12/2/2021

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A few days ago, I was contacted by a grieving mom who has suffered the loss of 3 of her 4 daughters; it was a heart wrenching conversation. To think of such a great loss is simply unthinkable.

This heartbroken mom told me that it is difficult for her when people say, "You are so strong," when she knows she is not strong

She asked if people ever say that about me, and I said, "Yes, they do, and I always tell them, it's God's strength in me, otherwise I'd be a wreck." She responded, "It's my faith that strengthens me, too!"

We talked awhile and plan to meet in person soon, as she lives in a neighboring town.This hurting mom reminded me of all the other '"moms like me" living with the loss of a child (and maybe other loved ones) who grieve with hope, holding onto their faith.

What kind of hope am I talking about, you might ask? Hope of surviving the grief that comes with the death of a child? Hope that I will be reunited one day in Heaven? Hope that I will not be angry or bitter, feeling and acting like a victim? Hope that I will have compassion for other "moms like me," and will use what I have learned and experienced about grieving with hope on their behalf? Hope that I will not make loss the centerpiece of my life? Hope that my marriage, friendships and relationships will not be diminished or destroyed, because I have changed?

These were just a few of my hopes after the loss of our son, Kevin, in 2002. But, most of all, I hoped that I would not lose my faith - questioning God's love, His judgement, His timing and His wisdom, as "He gives and takes away" according to His plan, which is meant for good. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Just this morning, I had a conversation with a young woman who I've known since she was born who is going through a VERY scary and difficult season of her life. We talked about the importance of trusting God, and immersing ourselves in His Word, which Ephesians 6 tells us is the "sword of the spirit." We agreed, as sisters in Christ, that we must use the "sword" to combat the attacks of the enemies of God that seek to steal our peace and joy, as we try to understand why bad things happen to God's people.

I encouraged this precious young "sister," to arm herself with God's divine armor, as set forth in Ephesians 6, to not listen to voices that try to tell her God is not enough for her, for us. During this trial she is experiencing, she is starting to understand the truth that when God allows bad things to happen to His people, He is fully present and good can come from the bad, if only we will trust Him and not give up hope! (Romans 8:28)

For those of us who have suffered great loss, disappointment and hard times, giving up hope in a loving, good Father God, can set us on a path of hopelessness, draining us and bringing us down into a dark pit of confusion, chaos and despair.

Living with the loss of someone we love can be the hardest thing we ever do. As we step into and walk through the "shadows of death," I believe we can either become more trusting and hopeful, or fall into a dark and lonely place. How I hope this is not true for you, precious mom.

What are you hoping for today? Are you finding yourself in a sea or pit of hopelessness or are you beginning to see some light at the end of the shadowlands? I hope the latter is true for you! I stand firm on what I have experienced as truth, there is always hope for the hopeful, no matter our circumstances. Our heartache and pain can be used for good to strengthen us, and those without hope. May we never give up hoping that things can be better, because that is God's plan for us - not only better, but ABUNDANTLY better!

I encourage you to visit Kathe Wunnenberg's website at www.hopelifters.com and reading her books, "Grieving the Child I Never Knew," "Grieving the Loss of a Loved One," and "Hopelifters: Creative Ways to Spread Hope When Life Hurts." Kathe is a gifted writer and a woman who possesses great compassion and hope that is contagious.

May we honor those we love and miss by being "hopelifters!" This old hymn resonates with me today, "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' Name. On Christ, the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand - all other ground is sinking sand!"

With Faith, Hope and Love
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com

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The Way Through the Wilderness of Grief

10/28/2021

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As I began to grieve the loss of our son, Kevin, in 2002, it was brought to my attention that grief is like a wilderness. This proved true for me, as there were many times I felt like I was in un-chartered waters, a fog, a desert and definitely a wilderness.

I'm not much for swimming in un-chartered waters. I prefer sticking my toes - my pretty n pink polished toes- into trickling streams or at the edge of the ocean. I don't care if the ocean is calm or waves are crashing against the shore, but I am hesitant to swim in the ocean, even though I did so in my youth. Now, I prefer swimming in a refreshing, clear salt water pool!

I don't like walking or driving in the fog. I've done both, when I lived a mile from the beach in So. California, but I didn't like it then and I wouldn't like it now. I like to see where I am going. I don't like being in the shadows or the dark with no light or line of sight ahead.

The desert isn't very welcoming to me. Though, it has it's own beauty (and I've been reminded of this by many friends who live in the desert) there's too much dirt, too many creeping, slithering and crawling things for my taste, and it's HOT! I'm a cool weather gal and actually like cold weather.

I have no desire to venture off, much less hike or backpack into the wilderness. Thick forests are kind of scary, if I can't see ahead. I know myself very well, and I know that I am not an explorer or a risk taker. And, I'm certainly not equipped for survival in any of these environments.

When I first entered the wilderness of grief, I felt abandoned, confused and lost. How was I going to survive, if I was left alone in the wilderness? Who was going to help me make my way through that wilderness? I knew I needed a navigator. I looked for navigators in grief support group(s) and bereavement books and resources.

Though these were helpful to me, I came to realize very soon into my journey that I needed God to be my navigator, because only He had all that I needed to take me through the wilderness safely. He knew the way and if I stayed with Him, I'd not only survive, but learn many important lessons in in un-chartered waters, the fog, the desert and the wilderness. Mostly, I learned that He is faithful and a very proficient navigator.

Does this feel true for you, precious mom? Do you feel abandoned, lost somehow? If you have come through the wilderness, do you remember at time in your grieving, when you felt this way?

Isaiah 43:18 spoke loud and clear to me in those early times of my grief. These words from God called me to walk with Him through the wilderness each and every step of the way. Do not keep looking back, as though I forgot something or felt like something or someone was lurking in the shadows, stalking me, but to "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, i am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

This scripture became one of the guiding lights unto my path and lamp unto my feet (Psalm 119:105). This truth from God's Word kept, and keeps me moving ahead with Him; not looking back, not going ahead or lagging behind the great navigator of my life.

How about you? Where are you in your walk through the wilderness? Are you suffering from the vast and scorching desert of grief? Do you feel like you are drowning in your grief or feel like you are swimming with sharks?

Are you aware that God is "doing a new thing," in you? Or, are you stuck somehow? I hope that you will reach for the light in Christ that you might experience how God is "making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland," for you!

With Faith, Hope ad Love,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com

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Spiritual Gifts for You and Me!

10/27/2021

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There's a lot of talk and rumors about the supply chain in our Country and how there will be limited supplies and delivery problems for gifts that we want to give this Christmas. Some people are saying that they aren't going to try to buy gifts, but will just give money or make gifts to avoid the frustration.

Every year, I spend months preparing for gift-giving at Christmas. I usually create a Christmas Excel spreadsheet that lists the names of all who we will give a gift. I also include a budget for each person that hopefully coincides with our overall Christmas budget.

It's November, and I have not completed the spreadsheet and have not bought many gifts, but I have been thinking and learning a lot about spiritual gifts lately.

Much of what I am writing about in this post is the result of a conversation I had with my beloved niece, Andrea Carter-Blaho. Andrea has been speaking truth and encouragement into my life, since she was a very young girl. Our conversations have always been intimate, honest accounts of where we are, what God is doing in our lives, and where we sense He might be leading us day-by-day in our spiritual journey. Our conversations lasted almost 2 hours, which is normal for us.

It is my belief from what God's Word tells me, that spiritual gifts are from God, and since they are from God, there should be no ego involved. If it is a gift that puts us behind the scenes or out front, then that is by God's design. You and I are not responsible for designing or manipulating them for our own purpose.

I also believe it is our responsibility to know what spiritual gifts have been given to us, to cultivate and use them, while trusting where they came from and where they might take us. This may mean we are put in an upfront, supportive or behind the scenes role. It's all God's call.

As long as our hearts remain focused on serving God and helping others, once we know what our gifts are, we can settle on the truth that wherever we are using our gifts, that is what God has meant for us; in His time for whatever season He deems appropriate.

You and I had absolutely no part in the design of our spiritual gifts, and they will not be given to us until we are spiritually "born again" into God's family, His Kingdom, a part of His loving and redemptive plan. (John 3:3)

Once we are "born again" spiritually (not in the physical sense), it is important for us to know what gifts God has given us, and we must trust the gift-giver; He knows what He is doing. It's really very simple, but we often make it so difficult. All we have to do is open our heart and soul to God, accept Jesus as "the way, the truth and the life,"receive His gift of redemption and eternal life, and wait for the gift-giver to give us the spiritual gifts with our name(s) on them. Once we are saved, sealed and align ourselves with God, we must be careful not to set aside, hide or forget about our spiritual gifts, as we often do with earthly gifts we have been given.

Have you received the gift of salvation, redemption and eternal life through the death of Jesus who was born for that purpose? If so, then you have spiritual gifts. Do you know what your spiritual gifts are - there's a list of spiritual gifts in I Corinthians 12:8-19 with comparable gifts discussed in Ephesians 4:7-13, Isaiah 11:2-3 and Romans 12:3-8.

Have you completed a spiritual gifts assessment to discover what are your spiritual gifts? You can find these assessments online or perhaps your home church has one you could use. I like to complete a spiritual gifts assessment about every 7-10 years, and it is always interesting to see how the prominence of each of my gifts may change a bit, depending on how I am growing and maturing in Christ.

How I hope with all of my heart that you are spiritually "born again." If you aren't, it's simple. Just ask Jesus to come into your heart and soul, to save and seal you, and to send the Holy Spirit to be your comfort and guide. Ask Jesus to forgive you. Tell Him you want to receive the gift of salvation and eternal life, and to fill you with His Holy Spirit that you may follow and walk with Him from now on.

This could be the day you are spiritually born again. "Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland," -Isaiah 43:18

If you are already a "new creature in Christ," saved, sealed and aligning yourself with God's expectations, will and purpose for your life, I hope you will look into taking a spiritual gifts assessment to become aware of how God has gifted you, and that you will use those gifts! Believe me, when I say you can trust the way-maker and the gift-giver.

With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com

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Warrior Woman!

10/19/2021

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I am currently going through a 7-week Bible study by Priscilla Shirer about putting on the "Armor of God. " My spiritual eyes are wide open to realizing how easy it can be for Satan, the enemy of God and all those who love and honor Him, to use the loss of a child to deceive, derail and dismantle our belief, faith, hope and trust in God.

This study is reminding me that though I may forget from time to time that the devil is real, at work among us, and I can be influenced by the "forces of evil." (Ephesians 6:12)

It has been sad for me while companioning and encouraging grieving moms through the years to watch many get stuck in a place of anger at God. These hurting moms not only question the timing and cause of death of their child, but actually blame God and turn away from Him in their darkest moments, just when the need Him most.

I did not turn away from God, I turned toward Him and drew closer to Him in my sorrow, me, and I know now it is because I had been exercising my spiritual core for many years before our son, Kevin, died.

Nevertheless, the enemy did attack me, my husband, and our family many times after our son's death. We were all heartbroken, traumatized, in shock and consumed by our grief; we were not prepared and were ill-equipped to fight against the attacks being waged against us by our enemy. I call him "our" enemy, because he hates God and he hates us because we love God. Satan was able to use death to distract us, drag us down and to try to pull us away from the God we love.

I highly recommend Priscilla Shirer's study to anyone who may not be aware, has forgotten or simply denies that the devil is real and is prowling around looking for who is weak and heavy-laden with sorrow and grief. He knows our weaknesses and whether we want to admit it or not, God's Word tells us that he is very mindful of us, because we are not on his side of things. He uses strategies and tactics to distract, discourage and convince us that God isn't good, and I believe that we have to know our enemy, if we are to withstand the attacks against us.

Priscilla focuses our attention not only on the reality of the devil, but how we can put on the "full armor of God" so we can stand firm and experience victory in Christ over the forces of evil that come against us. This study is equipping me to be a stronger, more courageous woman, and I fervently pray that it makes it way into the hands of many precious "moms like me."

The enemy knows me, knows my weaknesses and that I become complacent and lazy, misconstruing these for a false sense of peace. When I get too comfortable, that's when the enemy pays special attention to me and goes after me - not face to face, but covertly, using his lies, deceit and trickery in trying to get me to doubt God and spend little time in His Word, in prayer and fellowship with Him and His people. it is when I am tired and weary of the battle, loss and grief, that I am vulnerable and encouraged to think that God isn't enough.

After only one week in this Study I am stronger. I am putting on the full armor of God, one piece at a time. I am "girding" (encircling my spiritual core) with truth and I'm already standing up taller, gaining spiritual energy, more in balance and experiencing a greater sense of stability and strength. Back in line with the other soldiers of God, I will be able to better resist spiritual attacks and push against the enemy's strategies and schemes against me.

One way I know when my "spiritual core" muscles are weak is when I am too sensitive, easily hurt or offended. It was such a great reminder when Priscilla Shirer shares that feelings, "have no intelligence." When I rely on my feelings, that's when I begin to be tired, weary, out of balance, unstable and an easy target for the enemy.

This is the week that all that changes. With God's help I will put on the full armor of the "Divine Warrior."

How about you? Are you fully armed to resist and withstand the deceptions, lies and attacks from the enemy who will most certainly try to use your heartache and sorrow against you? How's your "spiritual core?" Are you girded with truth or do you rely on your feelings to guide you through life? I know firsthand that this great loss we are living with can be the catalyst for abundant living or it can derail us and even destroy our relationship with God and others.

It is my hope and prayer that you are fully equipped, but if not, I encourage you to put on the armor . . ."be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything to stand firm, Stand firm therefore having girded your loins with truth (our spiritual core) and having put on the breastplate of righteousness (being right and at peace with God) and having shod your feet (put on the spiritual shoes) with the preparation of the gospel of peace (good news of what Jesus has done); in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith, with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one, And, take up the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God). With all prayer and petition, pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints, and pray!" (Ephesians 6:10-19)

If you have a chance do Priscilla Shirer's Armor of God Bible study - as our son, Kevin, would always say, "Just Do It!" If it's not available in a local church, you can get the the study book and probably watch the video online Maybe there is a group of moms that you are connected to that would be willing to go through this study together.

Praying that you will be armed and able to stand firm, and will be an active part of our great resistance against the "forces of evil" in this troubled world.

With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com

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Closure to Grief?

10/4/2021

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Has anyone ever told you that you need closure after the loss of someone you love?

As you have most likely experienced, as I have, "there is no closure to grief." Death is not an issue or matter to resolve and there doesn't ever seem to come to some sort of conclusion.

I have learned while living with some traumatic and heart wrenching losses that we can make peace with grief, but only, if we surrender our will and accept God's authority over life and death.

Though I would like all of my unanswered questions answered, and to be able to make sense out of God's timing, I believe as Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us . . .

"My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

This August, my 93 year old mom headed off to Heaven. She had been in long term care for 3 years and the last year she became very fragile and immobile. Because of COVID restrictions, I was unable to be with her as much as I wanted to, but during the last few weeks of her life I was able to spend many hours at her side and did all I could to let her know how much I loved her and what she means to me. My mom and I had a very special relationship; we grew up and old together.

Though I spent some precious moments and hours with my mm at the end of her life, I wasn't with her, when she took her last breath and that bothers me. It especially troubles me that I woke up at 5:00 am the morning she died and thought of getting up and going into the facility, but after 12 hours with her the day before, I decided to sleep for another hour. At 6:00 am, I got the call that she had died. Would going in at 5:00 am have provided me with some sense of closure? Would she have had final words for me? Did I miss something important or did she slip away in her final moment without incident? These questions are left unanswered and I think I will always wonder how she stepped into Eternity, and if I should have been at her side, when she took the step.

For some reason (God only knows why), I have never experienced a sense of closure after the death of anyone I have loved. My Dad died suddenly of a massive heart attack and I didn't get to say goodbye. My sister died while I was asleep with my head on her bed. Our youngest son died instantly of sudden cardiac death while surfing. My brother died minutes after I left his room for a short break, and now my mom died without me there with her either.

So, what can we do, when we have unanswered questions and don't experience a sense of closure after the death of someone we love? The dictionary defines closure as "a sense of resolution or conclusion" . . . . "a feeling that an emotional or traumatic experience has been resolved." A resolution is defined as "the act of solving a problem, dispute or contentious matter."

I do not perceive death as a problem, a dispute or a contentious matter to be solved, but most certainly as an "emotional, traumatic experience" and no matter how much time passes I know that I must leave the details in God's hands - His most capable and trustworthy hands. If I trust Him, His timing is all the closure I need, as well as my faith that one day I will experience absolute closure, when I am reunited with my loved ones, because I am confident they are with Him now.

If there is any sense of closure for me, it is the sense that I have no control over life or death, and I can only control what I believe and how I accept and live with loss. I believe that God is loving, and it is He who has control over life and death. That's closure enough for me. How about you, precious mom?

With open hands and heart,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com

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Finding the Good in Grief

Are you an "Iron-Spirited Woman?

My Plan for 2022 is to Fill It With Jesus!

Living Life in Peace

The Slow Work of God

Hope Is The Key!

The Way Through the Wilderness of Grief

Spiritual Gifts for You and Me!

Warrior Woman!

Closure to Grief?

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