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Saying "I'm Sorry" is Enough!

8/2/2013

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“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. “ Proverbs 16:14

“Sympathy is two hearts tugging on one load.” -Anonymous

I recently viewed a video posted by www.walktoremember.org entitled "Support Grieving Parents" and there were several points that touched my heart . . . words of wisdom and insight concerning how we might best help those who grieve.  

One of the points that impressed me was what bereaved parents want to hear from others in response to their loss; and the consistent theme shared by several bereaved parents who were interviewed on the video was that a simple "I'm sorry" is enough. 

Merriman-Webster's Dictionary provides the definition of  "sorry" as . . . "feeling sorrow or regret." 

The words "I'm sorry" that someone might say to someone who has suffered loss may not seem enough somehow, but throughout my personal journey of grief in response to the loss of my son, Kevin, in 2002 and from connecting with hundreds of moms who have suffered the loss of a child, I have found that a simple "I'm  Sorry" is enough; these simple words convey genuine comfort and concern for the brokenhearted - would you agree?

I remember a movie back in the 70's (I think) called  "Love Story," where the wife says to the husband, "Love means you never have to say you're sorry."  My husband, Bob, and I looked at each other and we almost laughed out loud. After the movie ended, we talked about how silly that statement was in light of the reality that to truly show our love for someone, we must be willing to admit our mistakes, say 

"I'm sorry" and ask for forgiveness.

To all the precious moms we have met and will meet in the future, we want to say "We're sorry for your loss and we deeply care about your hurting heart and we hope that we can somehow be 

of comfort, help and encouragement to you." 

As we are praying and planning for our upcoming 2013-2014 Season of Comfort, we look forward to connecting and companioning with you. Watch for information about our new age-specific loss groups and other special events. Go to www.motherslikeme@facebook.com and/or visit our  website Support Groups and Calendar of Events pages at www.motherslikeme.info.


Our hearts are turned toward you, 
Angie Green and our "Mighty Like A Rose" Ministry Team



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The "Nobody Like Me" Club

6/26/2013

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My husband, Bob, and I have grown up together.  We met and started dating in High School, when we were just 15 years old, and we have been together ever since - 50 years as a couple, 47 years as a married couple. We don't know what it would mean to live without one another, and we wouldn't have it any other way; even with our differences, the rough places and challenges that we have experienced (and lived through), as well as sharing intense and passionate (we're Irish!) joy and sorrow. 

In May, my "little" brother, Russ, and his wife, Deborah, came to Colorado to visit over Mother's Day to honor our 85 year old Mom, and we spent a special week together.  

During the week, we talked and laughed and talked and laughed somemore. My husband, Bob, and my brother are very close and they both retired before they turned 60. Over the years, since their retirement, the four of us have had several conversations about retirement, and we all agree that it is important for us to not just take up time, space and air, but to find something that will make a difference and leave some sort of legacy behind, as well as us enjoying the simple pleasures of being blessed to be able to retire.

One day, while Russ and Debbie and I were on our way to Denver, I overheard by husband and brother in the front seat of the car (yes - they ride shot-gun, don't all men?) talking about how easy it seems to be for women to find something to do with their time, and how for them, it is more of a challenge, now that they don't have to show up to work everyday.

At one point, I heard my husband tell my brother that he was truly happy for me, that I co-founded Mothers Like Me and that I am fulfilled and content in my retirement years. After a few seconds of silence, he then said to my brother,  "Well, maybe I should just form my own group like Mothers Like Me, and I'll call it "Nobody Like Me" - I'll meet with myself, send memos to myself and focus completely on ME!"  The two guys had a good laugh and they began to play off the idea of a life that revolved around the notion that there is "Nobody Like Me" and the four of us found the subsequent discussion hilarious. But, the discussion, though light-hearted and funny, caused me to consider that there just might be some element of a deeper truth in their "playtime," and I began to think about what life might be like, if it was lived as though there is "nobody like me."

Though I was amused by our men's humorous conversation that day, I also realized that they were somewhat serious, as they are both trying to figure out what to do now that they are retired. From that conversation, I made a commitment to pray more specifically that God would help them find new meaning and purpose to their "new normal." Neither of them are selfish or self-absorbed guys, but they are trying to find their way through our "new normal" and this brought that time in our lives, after our son, Kevin, died, when we were also trying to find our "new normal" in response to our loss.  

According to God's Word, we are sojouners in this life - just passing through - meant for a measure of adventure, for fellowship and for living life in communion with Him and with one another.  For those of us who are living with the loss of a child, I wonder how many of us may be trying to figure out this journey through grief and think that there is "nobody like me." That there is simply "no one who really understands,"  and that grieving and moving through grief is just "something I have to do on my own, my way." 

If you may be thinking that somehow your circumstances are unlike anyone else's, and you doubt that anyone really cares about your feelings, would be willing to embrace something of your personal sorrow, hear stories of your child and/or just "be there" with you and for you, we hope you will think again. Through the years, since Mothers Like Me began in March 2006, we have been privileged to watch brokenhearted moms move through their grief with renewed hope, as they experience acceptance, comfort, hope and encouragement within our Christ-centered community of moms.  

Our ministry leadership team is in the process of mapping out our 2013-2014 Season of Comfort with YOU in our hearts and prayers, because there really is "nobody like you" - you ARE special, your child is special, and we care about you and would consider it an absolute blessing to acknowledge your loss, share a measure of love, comfort and encouragement and to just accompany you on your journey through grief until you are ready to go out and "comfort others as you yourself have been comforted."

Visit our website at www.motherslikeme.info and view our upcoming Calendar of Events and Loss Group schedule.

With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie Green, Director
"Mighty Like A Rose" ministry leadership team (Shelley Forney, Stephanie Whitton, Christy Weeks, Julie Christen and Sharon Spencer)

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"Stay in Your Lane"

6/13/2013

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The Lord recently reminded me of the importance of being authentic and staying true to who I am in Him, according to His plan for my life.

As I strongly desire to live the life that God has planned for me - finishing well for His glory - I realize that the way in which I make my way through the journey of grief is a significant part of how I might "finish well." 

Living with loss, and determining how I will respond to my losses has been the most challenging experiences and testings of my character and faith of my life so far.

Yesterday, a precious mom that I haven't talked to for many months shared with me that she is "trying to move on with God's help." I had to think about what she meant by "moving on." Some moms reading these words may cringe at the thought or the idea of "moving on," because they cannot imagine what that would mean or how that might be lived out in their own lives. For me, I sensed her desire to keep on living with God's help, moving toward something better, all the while doing the best that she could in her own way.

Many years ago, I heard a story about a young girl with special needs who came in last place, but actually won the Special Olympics gold medal, because she was "the only one who stayed in her lane!"  All of the other runners were all over the course, laughing, high-fiving each other, stepping into one another's lanes and playing to the crowds completely oblivious for the white lines that created individual lanes. When the last runner crossed the finish line and the race was over, the gold medal was presented to the runner who came in last. Who knew that winning the gold that day would have nothing to do with speed or crossing the finish line first, but rather, the gold would be given to the one who simply stayed in the lane assigned to them.

Before the sudden cardiac death of our youngest son, Kevin, in January 2002, I was running a very different kind of race. I was confident, focused and determined to experience all that God had planned for me, and for my family, with hope and joy, because I believed Jeremiah 29:11 with all of my heart "I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Little did I know what was ahead for me, my husband and my family, and how my faith and trust in God and His plans for me would be challenged and how I would be re-defined and refined. 

Since Kevin's death, I have experienced a plethara of feelings and emotions, and I have faced and worked through what, at times, have seemed like impossible mountains of emotions, challenges and issues to climb over or break through. I have also learned a lot about myself, about life, people and God Himself.  And, I have learned what it means for me to "stay in my lane," as I keep moving toward the finish line with the help of God and the hope of finishing well for His glory.  

I have discovered, as you may also have or are discovering, that the journey through grief is a wilderness of unexplored feelings, emotions and experiences that are felt and expressed differently. And, that by being honest with ourselves and others, open to what God has planned for us, realizing that we are all people with "special needs" we can surely put one foot in front of the other, staying in our lane that will lead us across the finish line with our eyes fixed on the Eternal One who is in the lane right beside us - JESUS!  "He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken." -Psalm 62:2

As we move into Summer, we hope that you will be refreshed and reminded of how special and unique you are, and that you will experience the peace of "staying in your lane" with God helping you over the finish line according to His plan for good for you and your family.

You are in our hearts, thoughts and prayers, and we are looking forward to mapping out our upcoming 2013-2014 Season of Comfort that will begin mid-September.  

Love and Blessings In Christ - as we keep on walking and moving together toward the finish line with Jesus,
 Angie and our "Mighty Like A Rose" ministry leadership team (Shelley, Stephanie, Christy, Julie and Sharon)




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In Loving Memory of Elijah on Memorial Day 2013

5/26/2013

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After Elijah's accident, we had MANY, MANY questions that unfortunately had no answers...our son was healthy, handsome, smart, honest, athletic and loving. There was no reason that was good enough for me, my husband and our family that in a blink of an eye 11/17/05 would change us forever...yes, forever. 

As we've been taught and have taught our children....we believe that the Bible is the light in our darkness, the rule book of our lives, and it contains the answers to all of our questions. We believe that the Lord's Word is true and He has a divine time for every one of us - and an appointed time that we will leave this world behind to live on with Him in Eternity. 


It was clear to us, when my husband read 1 Kings 17:5  "so he went and did according to the Word of the Lord, for he went and lived by the brook, Cherith, which flows into the Jordan" (talking about Elijah of course). This was a revelation to us, you see our son is not in our past...he is now in our future, waiting for us. He was 12 years old, when Father God called him home, and it gives us great peace to know that he is now all about the Father's business.

There is a saying that goes, " when one door closes, another one opens." Well, thanks to a loving God...He doesn't ever allow the door to close, when he takes one of His children home :)  Our son lives daily in our hearts and our minds, and we love him more everyday, as we love our girls more every day. Knowing that we will see him again, that he lives on in eternity helps us to accept the reality that Elijah is just beyond the "Jordan!" 

Be blessed,
Lisanne Brown "a mom like you"

Huntington Beach, CA


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Blessings and Baggage

4/5/2013

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I do not normally post a blog more than every few months, but something that happened to me over the Easter Season may just resonate with other grieving moms, and so I decided to share what's on my heart in response to the Easter this year.   

EASTER - what does that word conjure up in your heart and memories?  

When I was 8 years old, I realized that Jesus was truly the Son of God, "God with us" - the fleshly imbodiment of the Holy Divine Godhead - the one true God of all gods - worthy of all praise, honor and glory. Easter has always brought, beginning with the Lenton Season, great joy, power and hope to me personally.



This Easter was somehow different for me - this Easter Season, our family faced the heartache and horrow of one of our own who tried to take her own life, all too painful reminders of addictions, disease, spiritual, emotional and physical strongholds and all who would say that they know God and have given their hearts to Jesus-  and so why so much heartache and bondage, I wonder?

Some would be honest in saying that they are "believers," but not necessarily "followers of Christ" - others might say that they are "tired and weary of this life - worn out - exchausted, overwhelmed and disheartened and discouraged." Others might say that their "faith is weak" and they just "get tired of the struggles and challenges of this life."  I was discouraged by what I was hearing and witnessing and I found that my own faith was being tested and I was keenly aware that all around me there was the luggage of life stacking up and up and up.

Why do we lug baggage around with us, when we could live in blessings?  Because we are human beings, fragile, frail, wounded, worn and torn apart by our choices, our circumstances, our wanderings outside of God's goodness and grace, our sin, and all too often, because we are stubborn and we don't want  "anyone (not even God) telling me what I should do," and besides, "if God is so good, why does He allow us to suffer? Why did Jesus have to suffer and die?"  These statements always sadden and challenge me, because I have found in my own life, that it is all too often "me" who allows evil, sin and sorrow into my life for one reason or another.

In thinking back on this Easter season and though I was not refreshed, rejuvinated and renewed, as I have been in the past, I was profoundly reminded of my own brokeness and of my need of the Savior, of the redeeming blood of the Lamb of God, encouraged to lay down the "baggage" I may be lugging around at the foot of the Cross. 

Below, is something of what Max Lucado describes about the "Luggage of Life" that I hope will encourage you, as it has encouraged me to yoke myself with the LORD - for  "His yoke is easy and His burdens are light!" 

With Love and Hope in Christ, as always - Angie "a mom like you."

The Luggage of Life
Excerpts from “Traveling Light” by Max Lucado

“Traveling light means trusting God with the burdens you were never intended to bear.”

The bags we grab are not made of leather; they’re made of burdens. The suitcase of guilt; a sack of discontent. You drape a duffle bag of weariness on one shoulder and a hanging bag of grief on the other. Add on a backpack of doubt, an overnight bag of loneliness, and a trunk of fear. Soon you’re pulling more stuff than a skycap. No wonder you’re so tired at the end of the day. Lugging luggage is exhausting.

Ask the Lord to reveal any burdens you need to lay down. 

Sit with a piece of paper and a pen in hand, and write down any burdens the Lord brings to mind. 

Ask God to show you how to release these burdens.  

What burdens are your loved ones needlessly bearing? 

What can you do to help them lay down those unnecessary burdens

God is saying to you, “Set that stuff down! You’re carrying burdens you don’t need to bear.” 

Psalm 23 . . . 
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures; 
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul; 
He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 
I will fear no evil; For You are with me; 
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil. My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.” -Psalm 23 (NKJV)

"Lay it all down 'sisters of the heart' - let's lay it all down and live in freedom and under blessings!


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"Put Through the Ringer" 

3/4/2013

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“Why did I do it?” I shake my head, as I realize it happened again. What happened again? I put myself through the ringer of grief and what set me off was just a movie; a movie to finish off the weekend that focused on angels who had to resolve some things from when they were alive on Earth. 

Remembering that I had seen this movie before, I thought it would be ok to watch it again. Boy, was I wrong! I had no idea the heartache that would follow when I went off to bed. Sleeping just was not in the works, as my mind couldn’t let go of the reality of losing my daughter Erica on a Wednesday in November of 2008. 

Though I know from God's Word that my daughter is not an actual angel, I often think of her that way and I imagine her flying down from Heaven to comfort me. I imagine her big, beautiful smile and her wrapping her arms around her broken Momma. “God, if I beg enough will you let her come to me in my dreams? Please, God, I need to feel her presence, spend some time between here and there with her, is that possible somehow?"  I also wonder, if Erica knows how hard her Momma is struggling with her death and the daily grief that I endure, though I really don’t want her to know. I want her to be happy in Heaven. I wouldn’t want her to see me like this. 

So many thoughts kept zooming through my head the night I watched that movie about angels, and I couldn’t stop or control the thoughts. The thought that troubled me the most was based in the fear that I may never be able to revisit the day of the "crash" (as I call it) without feeling like my mind, heart and soul will explode right out of my body. 

Whenever I try to “go there,” to the day of the “crash,”  I realize I’m not ready. At the time I am writing this, it has been 4 years, 2 months and 7 days since Erica died at the hands of a woman who was on her cell phone while driving an SUV. I think of that day as the day of the “crash,” because my world came crashing in on me. 
I often wonder when will the grieving end? When will I stop having these moments of pain that are unbearable? 

After 2 hours of sleeplessness and deep sorrow, I had soaked my pillow with my tears and quiet sobbings, and 
I became very much aware that I was holding back the sobbing - swallowing it,  so that I wouldn’t wake my husband who was sleeping right next to me. I didn’t want to wake my husband and have him see me like this;
I was broken, shredded, a mess. There have been many times that I’ve let my husband console and comfort me, but that night just wasn’t one of those times.The tears stung, as they rolled down my face, and 
I thought of how grief stings like a million bees stinging all at once. I also felt like I was barely breathing and I had to concentrate on letting the air come and go. “I have to breathe," I told myself. "Just breath!” 

Realizing that I wasn’t going to sleep, I asked God to help me, because I honestly felt like I was going to “lose it!” Though, I knew from experience over the past 4 years since Erica's death that the intensity of the grief wouldn’t last and eventually I would go to sleep, I also knew that I needed to hear from the Lord that night and that He wanted to speak into my heart through the pain. I knew that He was with me in this “valley of the shadow of death” and that He would carry me and help me to make it through the night. At one point, I knew He was saying to me, “Fear not my child, I will never put you through anything that you cannot bear. Though you may be in the valley of the shadow of death, fear not for I am with you.” 

Knowing that intense grief like this will happen again, my heart will ache for my daughter and my wounds will again be exposed and laid open before God, I also know that God will sit with me in my grief and be my loving Father who will spend the night with me and help me get through the darkness.  

I am sharing my dark night experience and heartache with you, because I know that there are so many other “moms like me” who bear the same sorrow I bear, and perhaps by sharing something of my "dark night" this will somehow help me continue to move through my grief and keep aware that I, like you, am not alone in the dark. 

What a blessing it is to know that there are  others who truly understand the sorrow that I must live with and who will also experience the presence of God in their dark moments. We are blessed to have a God who draws close to us in our sorrow and despair, and that we have Him and one another to share something of the sorrow in the night and the blessings that come “in the morning!”  As God promises us  " . . .weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." -Psalm 30:5

With Love and Hope,
Shelley Forney, “a mom like you”
Erica Leanne’s Momma
Associate Director, Mothers Like Me Comfort Ministry 





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"Dads Like Me" Encouragement for Grieving Dads

2/6/2013

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My heart is overflowing with gratitude and joy for the blessing of being a witness to the goodness of God concerning the founding of a new ministry of encouragement for grieving dads called "Dads Like Me"  

In 2012, Bob and I were honored to be a part of a local newspaper article that spotlighted ministries/non-profit organizations/charities created by bereaved parents in response to and in honor and rembrance of the loss of a child.



As a follow-up to the newspaper article, the couples who were featured in the article got together to meet one another over dinner at Cafe' Vino Restaurnat here in Fort Collins, CO.

When introduced to Steve and Julie Christen, as the Director of Mothers Like Me, Steve asked me, with a big smile on his face, "So, where's Dads Like Me?" to which my reply, was "I don't know, Steve, where is it?"  I told him that "God placed the idea for a Dads Like Me ministry for grieving dads on my heart, at the same time he gave Cynthia Weightman and I the vision for Mothers Like Me that began in Southern California in March of 2006. "However, so far," I said," no man has stepped up and wanted to take ownership and leadership for such a ministry." Steve's eyes got brighter and his smile bigger and he said  "Well, maybe we should talk!"

And, so we talked and prayed, and talked and prayed somemore, and, we can now testify to the faithfulness of God that He knew all the time that the right and best man for a Dads Like Me ministry was Steve Christen!

On Saturday, February 16, 2013, from 10:00 am to 12:00 noon, Mothers Like Me will host a "Heart to Heart" Couple's Brunch at Timberline Church in Ft. Collins, at which time Steve and Julie will share something of their story of loss and amazing journey through grief, and Steve will introduce "Dads Like Me" bereaved parents and guests who will come together for the first time in a married couple's venue. After 7 years of praying, hoping and believing that one day Dads Like Me would become a reality, we are confident that this is the time and that Steve is the one to lead what he refers to as a "band of brothers" toward hope and healing in response to the loss of a child.

With enthusiasm, wisdom, clarity and a passion for living life with joy and purpose, Steve begins this ministry of encouragement for dads with compassion and humility, and with the understanding and experience that equips him to relate to a  "man's grief" and to the need for a husband to "show his love for his wife by entering into her grief." As Steve, and probably any man or woman would say "men and women just grieve differently!"

Only God could have chosen, called and equipped the man for this special ministry, and that man is absolutely Steve Christen!

Here's something of Steve's plan for Dads Like Me . . . 

We Believe . . . 
*The death of our child is a unique and horrifically difficult challenge to us as men, husbands and fathers.
*Our lives have changed forever.
*Grief is a profound journey we do not have to travel alone.
*Our wife and children are our most precious earthly treasures and we will seek to continue to love them well.
*Even though our grief is an extension of our love, we humbly admit we are sorely lacking in our ability to survive and thrive through this challenge without the help of God and other men.

Our Mission and Purpose . . . 
*To create a "band of brothers" who will support one another through the journey called grief.
*To provide opportunities for friendship, education and resources to help grieving dads.
*To encourage grieving dads to ultimately look to God for comfort and healing.

Our Vision
*To encourage and support a group of dads to love more, live life with passion and purpose and an "eternal" perspective, 

You can read something about Steve and his wife, Julie, and their beautiful 20 year old daughter, Rachel, who died on May 22, 2008, while driving her car that was struck by a truck @ www.rachelchristen.com.

Steve will be preparing and publishing a website for Dads Like Me in the future, but for now, you can reach him at adadlikeme@yahoo.com.

Please pray for Steve (and my husband, Bob) and the other "dads like me" who will be coming alongside Steve to help him reach out to grieving dads here in Ft. Collins, CO. This ministry can truly make a difference in the lives of bereaved parents and we pray that Ken Hekema's words, as written in his book Treasures of Darkness will be true for the men who join this special "band of brothers" - that they will  "emerge from our grief - not afraid of death - not afraid to live - and not afraid to love again." 

"Please, God, let this be true for Dads Like Me and bless this man and this ministry in Jesus' Name - Amen!"

Rejoicing in Christ,
Angie Green, Director of Mothers Like Me  - "a mom like you!"
 

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Diane Herman - "A True Hero, This Mom!"

1/30/2013

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Allyson Zadeh: A true hero, this mom  


Forget Superman.

Forget Wonder Woman.

Everyday people function in heroic roles every single day. That truth is worth celebrating, so once a month I’m going to profile a heroic woman.

If there’s a universal fear of all mothers, it’s losing a child. My friend Diane has persevered through this fear-of-all-fears, all while losing a spouse first. I am overwhelmed with awe and respect for this woman who has suffered so much, yet has stayed resolutely faithful to her God.

My friend Diane is one of these heroes.

Diane was raised in Western Kansas by Godly parents who taught her to love the Lord. As a senior in college, she was engaged to her boyfriend, Travis, and an after-graduation wedding was planned for May of 1993. Travis was a Windsor boy and they were here in Colorado for spring break that March of 1993 when their lives changed.

A trip to the doctor revealed that Travis, at the age of 21, had stage four colon cancer. He was given 3 months to live.

Against the advice of doctors, Diane and Travis went ahead with their wedding; Travis weak from chemo. Against the odds, Travis persevered and the two had a son and two daughters between 1994 and 2000. In this same time period, Travis’ cancer metastasized five different times to his liver, and the two endured the tragedy of surgeries, chemotherapy and other cancer-related complications as they welcomed each of their beautiful children into the world.

In 2000, the cancer went to his lungs, and in 2003, unbeknownst to Diane, Travis had a conversation with his brother Justin that would change the trajectory of all of their lives.

In ancient Israel, it was tradition for a widow to marry the nearest relative of her husband in order to protect her children, land and other assets since she had no rights as a single woman. It was based on this tradition that Travis asked Justin to care for Diane and the three kids when he passed away.

Justin agreed.

Travis fought hard until August of 2005 when he “changed his address to eternity,” in Diane’s words. Before he died, he told Diane what he'd asked his brother to do. Her initial reaction was probably more gracious than mine would have been: She thought he was hallucinating.

He was not. He was lucid, serious and a man worried that his kids would grow up without a father. He had a brother willing to step in to raise the kids and learn to love Diane. He wanted her to consider it.

In Diane’s words, in order to go along with this plan, she was going to need a “major heart change.” Upon serious prayer, consideration and conversation, Diane felt that heart change occur. And in June of 2006, Diane and Justin committed themselves to each other.

After six weeks of marriage, the new family was hit with another blow: Hope, Diane and Travis’ 10-year-old daughter, was diagnosed with osteogenic sarcoma: bone cancer.

Like her father, she fought the good fight. She had six cycles of ugly chemotherapy. In February of 2007, she was done with treatment and seemed to be doing great. But in October of 2007, she got another devastating diagnosis: leukemia.

On Jan. 11, 2008, Hope moved in with her daddy and “changed her address to eternity."

If there’s a universal fear of all mothers, it’s losing a child. My friend Diane has persevered through this fear-of-all-fears, all while losing a spouse first. I am overwhelmed with awe and respect for this woman who has suffered so much, yet has stayed resolutely faithful to her God.

She has been angry, yes. She has been devastated, of course. But she knows that this kind of illness and this kind of suffering is never the will of God.

Diane and Justin are two of the most encouraging, fun-loving, amazing people I have ever had the privilege of knowing. I am constantly amazed at their compassion for others, commitment to each other and the quality of their character. They are proof that love is an active choice. Diane is an amazing mother, Justin an equally amazing father. Their children remaining here on earth are old souls - with the loss of a father and a sister, I’m not sure how they could be anything but. Slate, the first-born, is now 18, and Isabelle, the youngest, is 12.

Justin and Diane have used the phrase “from ashes to beauty” numerous times to describe their journey. Certainly the ashes describe their dark times, but they have used their experiences and kept the faith by turning their grief into beauty and support for others.

In December of 2009, they founded a non-profit called “Gifts of Hope” to help other grieving families, and in June of 2012, they moved to Guatemala to work as missionaries to orphans.

Before she died, Hope recorded herself singing a song called “In Christ Alone” that I know Diane cherishes. The particular lyrics, “No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me. From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny” are ones that both Hope and Travis lived by – and Diane, Justin, Slate and Isabelle continue to inspire others by.

Thank you Diane, for being my friend, an inspiration and a true hero.

Allyson Zadeh is married with two children and another on the way. Read her Wednesdays onGreeley Moms.


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"Living With Loss While Others Are Celebrating" Workshop, Sat. 11/10 10:00 am to 12:00 noon @ Timberline Church Room #201/202

10/19/2012

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"At a time of loss, HOPE is the greatest gift we can give ourselves or others. Indeed, HOPE is at the very center of the Christmas message. Joy is in the world, but you are hurting  and there exists a contrast between what is going on all around us and what we are feeling in our heart." -Daniel Grippo

You are invited to join us at our  "Living With Loss While Others Are Celebrating" Workshop  (It's FREE!) on Saturday, November 10, 2012 from 10:00 am to 12:00 Noon at Timberline Church, Room #201/202.


This will be a time to come together with those new or further along in their personal journey through grief to receive helpful hints about how to prepare our hearts and homes for the Christmas Season, while living with the loss of our child and giving ourselves permission to grieve, while not missing the beauty and blessings of the Season.

Our special guest speaker will be Jacque Valdez, a professional counselor who specializes in loss, abuse and bereavement, and who also is the Founding Director of "Healing Prayer Ministry" here in Fort Collins.

Angie Green, Director of MLM,  will begin our workshop with her insights and experiences of how she personally  "made it through" the Christmas Season following the sudden cardiac death of her youngest son, Kevin, in January 2002. She will facilitate a group discussion that will help grieving moms articulate their concerns about the upcoming "Holy-days," and for those further along in their journey to share how they "made it through" their first Christmas Season following the loss of their own child - what helped, what hurt.

We all know that after the loss of a child everything, including us, is different.  This Workshop is being hosted in response to requests by several of our precious moms facing their first Christmas Season without their beloved child and 
who have asked us in various ways,  "What am I going to do about the holidays this year?" 

Join us, as we approach the Christmas Season with HOPE! Jacque will help us prepare our heart, soul and mind to make room for our Lord Jesus Christ in the midst of our sorrow.

Reserve your spot by emailing Angie at amotherlikeme@yahoo.com or calling her at 970-797-2159 - space is limited, so
consider making your reservations soon - no later than Monday, November 5th please!

Timberline Church is located at 2908 Timberline Road, Ft. Collins, CO 80525 (Between Drake and Harmony Rd)
You may enter from either the West or East parking lots - Room #211 is upstairs on the 2nd Floor - watch for our
Mothers Like Me Welcome signs!

Looking forward to seeing YOU at this special Workshop!  
Blessings and Hugs,
Mothers Like Me Ministry Staff



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"My Beautiful Mother"

4/28/2012

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Mother's Day is probably one of the most dreaded days for moms who have suffered the loss of a child. Even, if we have the blessing of other children, there is always that empty chair, that lump in our throat and an indescribable ache in our hearts for that one who is no longer here with us.


Each of us prepare ourselves for Mother's Day in our own way.  Some of us continue on with the traditional celebrations. Some avoid the day completely or struggle to find a way to make it through the day without a "meltdown." We may seek ways to create new memories with our children who gather around us, but we would most likely all agree that it just isn't the same without that one child no longer in our family circle.

I have countless Mother's Day memories created by my three sons, Eric, David and Kevin. And, on this Mother's Day, I am remembering one significant Mother's Day just one year before my son, Kevin, died. What I remember most about that Mother's Day is the look on my youngest son's face,
when he handed me his gift - - - the same look of delight that he had on his face, when he was a little boy and he had pulled a flower out of a flowerbed in our front yard by it's roots to give to me. With roots and dirt dangling from the mutilated flower, what I focused on was his beautiful smile, and the sound of his precious voice when he handed me the flower and said, "Mommy! Look what I have for YOU!" 

And, on our last Mother's Day together in 2001, he handed me my gift from him with the same boyish smile on his face, as that precious day when he handed me the flower, as he said,  "Mom. I hope you like this!"  Like it?
I LOVE IT! He had written me a poem, placing his favorite picture (and mine) of us together, when he was about 5 years old in the center of the poem, framed in a lovely (and frilly) white frame - - beautifully wrapped and proudly given, this is now one of my treasures from him and it hangs on the wall in my bedroom as a reminder of his love for me.

I share Kevin's poem with you 11 years after he wrote it, not to boast or brag that I'm such a "beautiful mother," (especially not in the morning without makeup and my hair done -HA!) but, rather in the hope that it will bring to your heart sweet memories of the ways your child said to you,  "Mom, I love you!" 


May this Mother's Day warm and comfort you and may you experience a measure of God's love, hope and peace as you celebrate the blessed gift of being a "beautiful mother" in the eyes of your children.
Love in Christ  - Angie

"My Beautiful Mother" by Kevin Green
You are a lady, whom I'm proud to say
I've grown to love more every day.

You have always been there for me,
willing and waiting.
You have always cared for and put your children first.
So, now that I'm older, I can plainly see
Just how good you've been to me.

Yes, you are like no other.
I'm talking about you, My Beautiful Mother!

I'm sorry for those who can't remember
Christmases spent with you in the month of December.
I still look back at what I miss,
so many things you healed with just a kiss.

I close my eyes desperately to relive the past,
only to find out that it can't last.

Yes, you are like no other.
I'm talking about you, My Beautiful Mother.

I can picture you high atop a mountain
with the look of love surrounding you for eternity.
Mom, I love you in every way.

Have a happy Mothers' Day!
For you are like no other.
I can only be talking about YOU
My Beautiful Mother!

Thank you, Son, for all the "flower" moments we shared. I will hold you in my heart until I can hold you in Heaven.

I love you,
Mom



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    These blog pages are written by and for moms who have suffered the loss of a child.

    May the reflections and expressions of mothers' hearts be a source of comfort, help and encouragement and may you, like these moms, accept God's great exchange as "He gives beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, praise for the spirit of heaviness . . " Isaiah 61:3

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