Many, many times in my life, I have prayed "Cleanse me of anything that breaks Your Heart, LORD, and keep me from sinning against you and others."
I think the most difficult time in my life, when I was in need of the deepest cleansing, was in response to the loss of our son, Kevin. Though I was not angry at God for taking my son, I found that it was people who didn't know how to comfort or console me in my grief that caused me to be angry and in need of God's cleansing and peace.
Touched by dark shadows of death, I could feel myself sinking into self-pity and depression. It seemed as though I was alone in my grief, my heart was broken and was turning cold. Always a "people person" for a few months after Kevin's death I didn't trust that anyone understood what I was experiencing and I didn't want to connect with anyone who didn't know how to talk to me about my sorrow and pain.
Once I realized what was happening inside me in response to my loss, I began to cry out to God to help me not break anyone else's heart (especially not His) in my brokenness. And, in realizing what was happening to me, and connecting my broken heart with the Healer, my broken heart became soft and warm again and even more loving, more compassionate, more merciful and more comforting, He cleansed and healed me as only He can!
I believe that no one, except the LORD our God, has the power or the means by which to cleanse and heal us. How I hope that if you are reading this today and know that you are in need of cleansing and healing peace, that you will allow Him into your sorrow and pain and to do what only He can do. "I AM the ony one to bring out the miracle in you, says the Lord."
Blessings and Hugs,
Angie "a mom like you"