When I consider that our son, Kevin's, 43rd birthday would have been this December 8th, it causes me to consider how one celebrates an event without the "guest of honor?"
How do we celebrate special days without our loved one that we are missing so much? What is the significance of a birth date without the one who was born here with us?
For me, a mom who lives everyday of my life without our youngest son, all I can think about is that I know with every fiber of my being that Kevin is very happy as a citizen of Heaven and that somehow I must muster up gratitude for this truth, as promised in God's Word.
The reality that he is enjoying unending joy and peace is what I celebrate now, as well as remembering him as a baby, a child and a young man . . . thankful for all the years that he graced this earth and our family with his presence.
When I try to imagine our 28 year old son turning 43 years old, I can't help but wonder what he would have looked like, how many children he would have by now, what career path he would be on, and I also imagine him living with the cardio-myopathy (enlarged heart) that suddenly caused his untimely death. From what the doctors said, he would have probably suffered from heart problems the rest of his life, and may have even had to have a heart transplant one day, completely changing his life. In my motherly selfishness, I might have once said, "That's OK, we'll take care of you!" But, I also know that would have been miserable for Kevin, and I would not have wanted him to suffer so that I wouldn't have to live without him. At 28 years old the length of his days here on Earth came to an end - an appointed time by God. He was not meant to celebrate anymore birthdays here with us.
As we approach December 8th, I know that I will reminisce about birthdays past concerning our son. We have always made a big deal of birthdays, because we see that day as the day that God blessed our family with our loved ones. Those days are priceless. I'll pull out pictures of "birthdays past" smile, laugh and shed tears of joy and sorrow intemingled with that gratitude I speak of so often for "had Kevin never been born, that would have been the real tragedy."
I miss my son, and oh how I would like to throw him a 43rd Birthday Party, but I also rejoice in the knowledge that he has gone on before us and that he is HAPPY as a citizen of Heaven!!! So, "Happy Day You Were Born," my son - we will always remember and celebrate YOU!
With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a mom like you"