"The Inner Voice of Love" where I came across the words that I needed to hear in my time of sorrow and pain.
Wendi and I were connected heart and soul from the first time we met more than 30 years ago, when she was just a teenager. She is now another person I love who has "gone on before me." Henry Nouwen's words were just the words that I needed to hear at just the right time.
If you would like to learn about the life's work of Wendi Miller who was murdered over the Holy Week weekend, you can google her name and go to the Wing's For Justice website at www.wingsforjustice.com.
I hope Henri Nouwen's words are comforting and encouraging for you, and I highly recommend this book and all of his books - he is one of Wendi's and my most treasured authors!
“When you "love" someone or "miss" someone, you experience an inner pain. Bit by bit you have to discover the nature of pain. When your deepest self is connected with the deepest self of another, that person’s absence may be painful, but it will lead to a profound communion with the person, because loving each other is loving in God.
When the place where God dwells in you is intimately connected with the place where God dwells in the other, the absence of the other person is not destructive. On the contrary, it will challenge you to enter more deeply into communion with God, the source of all unity and communion among people.
It is also possible on the other hand that the pain of absence will show you that you are out of touch with your own deeper self. You need the other to experience inner wholeness, to have a sense of well-being. You have become emotionally dependent on the other and sink into depression because of his or her absence. It feels as if the other has taken away a part of you that you cannot live without. Then the pain of absence reveals a certain lack of trust in God’s love. But, God is enough for you.
True love between two human beings puts you more in touch with your deepest self. It is a love in God. The pain you experience from the death or absence of the person you love, then, always calls you to a deeper knowledge of God’s love. God’s love is all the love you need, and it reveals to you the love of God in the other. This is “deep speaking to deep,” a mutuality in the heart of God, who embraces both of you.
Death or absence does not end or even diminish the love of God that brought you to the other person. It calls you to take a new step into the mystery of God’s inexhaustible love. This process is painful, very painful, because the other person has become a true revelation of God’s love for you. But the more you are stripped of the God-given support of people, the more you are called to love God for God’s sake. This is an awesome and even dreadful love, but it is the love that offers eternal life.”