I believe that God has created us humans with the ability to feel and to express our feelings, and when we deny our feelings and the heartache and pain of the losses in our life, we may find ourselves becoming people who live in denial, preventing us from rising out of the ashes of death and loss.
If we do not know how to mourn, we can learn from others . . from bereavement professionals and from those who have personally made their way through their journey of grief, experiencing healing and peace.
Though, I come from an Irish/English heritage, my grandmother on my mom's side of the family did not claim the Irish genetic connections, but rather the English/Scottish customs that shaped her into a woman that I loved deeply, but who seemed unable or unwilling to express her feelings and emotions outwardly. She raised three daughters who also found it difficult to express their feelings and emotions, which my Irish genes could never quite understand.
I am not much like my grandmother or my mother, probably too much the other way in that I "wear my feelings and emotions on my sleeve," I am an "open book" emotionally, and I cannot in anyway hide what I am feeling, though I have tried on many occasions it's like trying to put a cork back into a champagne bottle once the cork has released the pent-up bubbles.
My feelings and emotions are "welcomed guests," which is probably why I am especially moved by God's Word and music, and I can be somewhat melancholy at times.
Music moves me deeply and is a primary catalyst for tapping into my feelings and emotions. Throughout my life, I have used music to help me access and express my feelings. This morning is one of those times, when I told Alexa (my new toy) to play Secret Garden music and my emotions were moved into that place in my heart and soul where I am holding the grief of loss - the newest implanting being the death of my beloved brother, Russ, on March 13th.
When I "make time for mourning" it is to help me release some of the grief that I may hold in that private space in my heart and soul. And, after a scheduled time of mourning, I can breathe better and once again realize that "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away - blessed be the Name of the Lord." After the release of the pain and sorrow and subsequent emotions, I am ready to return to the joy of living, settled on the reality that my loss(es) are a part of the life that I love living with the hope that I have in Christ.
I am thankful for music and for God's Word, as these two beautiful creations of God cradles my heart and gives me permission to feel and express my feelings that often are connected to the sorrow and pain of losing and missing those that I love; and the list continues to grow with each passing year.
Making time this morning to access and feel what I needed to feel was a time of being "cradled" by my Heavenly Father and of remembering that I am human and that I feel. The best part of making time to mourn this morning was that it helped me to express the pain of loss through beautiful music, which comforted me. "Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted." - Matthew 5:4
With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a mom like you"