Jacque Valdez, Ft. Collins, CO
I do not recall that Mothers Day was an especially favorite day for me, but I do know that since the death of my daughter, it definitely is a tough day for me now.
We adopted our daughter, Lisa, when she was four weeks old and a preemie. Little did we know that she was also a Fetal Alcohol child.
Life was full of challenges after we adopted Lisa, and I remember the day we met her biological mom and learned about her history with drugs.I know that God placed my Lisa in our family, as my husband and I learned to pray, to lean on God and each other. As Lisa grew, she was able to help others, as she graduated from a Hompathic school and was a massage therapist.
We learned of our daughter's death seven days before Christmas, 4-1/2 years ago, when she was 31 years old. Lisa had a dream to see Costa Rica and possibly live there someday. She was traveling up the coast of Costa Rica to San Juan and met three American citizens. They all stayed in a hotel in San Juan and they found Lisa dead in a jacuzzi on December 18th. We were devastated and there was little closure, as she died in a foreign country.
Mothers Day was special insofar as Lisa usually made her gifts for me. She would make pillows, candles, nities (could sew without a pattern), tinctures for sleeping and relaxing, gift cards for massages and facials - it was heavenly. I think the best gift she gave me was cooking with a creative bent, since she did not use recipes - she created her own. All I had to do was chop veggies and drink a glass of wine, while we cooked. Wonderful memories!
I know God is moving me on. As I do grief counseling, helping others who are making their way through their grief, it helps me, too. This Mothers Day, if the weather allows, my husband, Rich, and I will go on a picnic in the mountains. Mothers Day is not the same, but then I am not the same; I am a person who is learning lessons and continues to grow.
It is my hope, for all of us grieving moms, that with this Mothers Day we will be one year closer to feeling some closure, although we all know that we will never get over this loss. Blessings, Jacque, "a mom like you"