Anyone who has siffered the loss of someone they love knows that mentioning their name may bring up a measure of pain and sorrow, but, never mentioning his/her name or remembering would be even more painful.
After many conversations, my husband, Bob, and I decided that rather than having a large celebration party for our 50th Anniversary that we would remodel our master bathroom (gift to ourselves) and spend a weekend with our sons and their wives first in Denver and then in Colorado Springs - just the six of us.
The weekend was very special and though the weather wasn't perfect, the time spent together brought a lot of sunshine and warmth into our anniversary celebration - just what had we hoped!
One evening, our sons took us to dinner at a "classy" restaurant in Colorado Springs, and I experienced a serendipitous moment, or as I prefer to say, "a Kingdom moment." Without knowing that a piano playing singer would be performing, I said "You know, there's one thing I've always wanted to do - to sing with a piano player in a classy restaurant!" And, then the piano playing began - I love moments like that!
Though I didn't get up and start singing, our son, Eric, asked the performer to sing and play one Bob's and my love songs -"Unforgettable." As we stood at the piano with our "kids" at our side, to say I was emotional would be an understatement - 50 years of memories and that song is also one that was included in the DVD that our niece created for our son, Kevin's, memorial service.
As is expected now, this kind of "remembering" brings up the memories and emotions of what's behind the song, and the memories warmed my heart, got stuck in my throat and then rolled down my cheeks. At the close of the song, I had to head to the restroom, I was once again reminded of how much I miss our "handsome, gentle and silly" son, Kevin, but also the fact that we are blessed and life is good again, even though we live with the loss of our son year after year.
For anyone reading this who has suffered the loss of someone important to them, I encourage you to say the name and speak often of the person you are missing. To grieve the loss of someone we love is normal and healing, but what isn't normal or healing is to think that by avoiding remembering those we love and miss it will somehow make things easier. Death separates us from those we love, remembering them helps us to reconnect with the life and love we once shared, and the hope we have of being together again in that place where there is "no more sorrow, no more tears" and definitely no more "goodbyes for now."
During our weekend with our sons and their wives, there was quite a bit of "remembering" and it was good, very, very good!
By God's grace, comfort and blessings, we are learning how to live with loss and we know that there is nothing to fear in remembering, because intermingled with the pain of loss is the blessing of remembering. I don't need to be reminded of the loss of the ones I love and am missing, but I absolutely will REMEMBER them, because they are "unforgettable!"
With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a mom like you"