The holiday season begs for outward signs of joy and jubilation.
Those who surround me await my usual frenzied expressions of holiday cheer, but they find none here.
I am a mother temporarily lost in her own sullen soul. I want to be in the background watching, absorbing the gaiety of Christmas. You see, I can't muster up my own outward expressions of holiday tidings, but I still want to experience this glorious season of celebration and rejoicing, but from a distance.
I am now ever so different. I am unsettled and fighting to find my new norm and the me that will stand the age of my time.
I am aware that I am different than I was before the loss of my daughter, Alexa. Others are also aware I am different.
I have no choice but to accept the constant metamorphosis.
Those around me do have a choice. Some choose to avoid me, others choose to embrace me. I am ever so grateful to each one of them for following their hearts and doing what they need to do. And, I am grateful for my own realization that I am okay where I am at every moment of every day. "Unsettled" I shall be in the constant waves of discovery and healing.
I love these two pictures of my beautiful daughter. As I am in my 2nd year of grieving the loss of her, in my heart and memories I see her as a girl and as a young woman, and I just want to lovingly squeeze her. She'll always be my girl and I miss her so much.
God's blessings and glory to you,
Sharon Younie "a mom like you"