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We are pleased to introduce Thomas Brown - a grieving and faithful Dad!
Thomas's wife, Lisanne, participated in our very first Mothers Like Me Care/Share group of moms, when our ministry began in Southern California in March 2006.
Lisanne came into the group of grieving moms heart-broken, emotionally shattered and filled with deep sorrow after suffering the sudden loss of her beloved 12 year old son, Elijah. At our first meeting, Lisanne grabbed by heart and my attention, as a beautiful and courageous young mom.
One night soon after Lisanne and I had gotten to know one another, my husband, Bob, and I had dinner with her and her husband, Thomas. Getting to know Thomas, and hearing something of his grieving heart, deeply touched us both. Thomas is a strong, yet sensitive man, and he was open and honest about his intense love of his son and the intense and very painful grief that he was experiencing. Bob and I both were very impressed by this young man's honesty, as he was struggling to understand and reconcile why God would take his son, Elijah, so soon.
Since our first meeting, Lisanne and I have stayed in touch, and this young couple is very special to Bob and I, and I personally count them as two of the blessings that have come out of our own loss, and I can honestly say, "I wouldn't have wanted to miss meeting them!"
Recently, Thomas connected via email with Steve Christen, our founding director of Dads Like Me, and I have asked his permission to share something of what he wrote to Steve . . . it is not often that we hear from a dad who has suffered the loss of a child, this is truly a blessing, and it is our absolute pleasure to share his words with you.
First, here is what he wrote to me in giving his permission for us to post his HEART today . . .
Angie,
"Thank you for this and many other blessings you have brought to my wife and myself. I am struggling to bring a new light back into my life and maybe sharing will be the spark that will help. I have been wanting to share my/our experience for many years, but kept waiting for the right time, like when I was healed. But, as you know, that never completely happens and there is no right time in life for certain things. Sometimes it's just about faith and stepping out. So, here I am!"
Yes, healing is possible with God on our side. I tried it alone and that was useless. I found comfort in His words and guidance that is something beautiful. Everyday is a new start and I pray for peace in our lives."
Email from Thomas to Steve . . .
"I want to reach out and thank you for sharing your words with others, like myself, who share this common pain of missing their gone to soon child.
My wife has sent me your emails from time to time, and I have glanced them over, not wanting to get too close to the words that will sting. But, tonight I reread these words in hope of some sort of new healing, knowing the scars are too deep, but believing that constant prayer and openness to my son's memories in my life may numb some of the hurt.
I lost my 12 year old son to an accident eight years ago. He was my best friend, partner and the greatest of who I was. It seems like it happened only a year ago, the days are different now. I have a loving wife and daughters who have struggled together through this nightmare. We have remained close and are now closer than we have ever been. Our Elijah is a glue that binds us together.
I am no longer mad at God or myself, on most days, but it's a constant vigil of my emotions to keep from breaking. I must be in not only Gods eyes, but my families and in my sons eyes, a man of faith and temperance. I try to be who
I would want Elijah to be. I like to think my son is "just over there" doing something cool and that we'll meet up again soon enough.
Anyway, thank you again and maybe I'll see you down the road."
Best,
Thomas Brown, "a dad like you"
Huntington Beach, CA
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