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The Time of My Life

6/26/2018

Who would think that when faced with heartache, sorrow and pain that not only good can come out of those times, but that they could turn out to be some of the "times of my life?"

When our youngest son, Kevin, died in January of 2002, my precious niece created a video in honor of his life set to music.

At one point in the video, pictures of him and his fiance,Vee's, time together as a couple was set to several songs that fit perfectly as background music for their love story. Two of my favorites were the Righteous Brother's "I Had The Time of My Life," and "Unchained Melody." To me, these songs spoke of the essence of their short-lived love that began as a playful friendship, quickly turning to a deep and abiding love.

These songs also speak to me of the life that I have lived with the "love of my life," AND the joy that is mine in Christ - living and abiding in His everlasting and faithful love, as I live with Him in my heart and soul, His spirit ever moving me away from the edge of the tomb toward our Heavenly HOME. How I hope that this will be one of the songs that I will sing eternally . . .

"Now, I had the time of my life
No, I've never felt like this before.
Yes, I swear it's the truth
And, I owe it all to you (Lord).
......Just remember
You're the one thing I can't get enough of
So I'll tell you something
I've had the time of my life."

Because of You, my God and my King, no matter what comes my way, when it's my time to leave this earth's pull I'll say . . "I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE AND I OWE IT ALL TO YOU!!"

With Love and Gratitude,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherlikeme.info

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"Bearing with One Another"

6/23/2018

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Who do you know that seems to have the gift or ability to truly "bear with one another in love?" These are the people with gentle, forgiving spirits that sets them apart from the rest of humanity somehow. These are the people who truly know how to love, not loving to be loved in return, but just loving for the sake of love.

In looking at Ephesians 4:2, it seems to me that the key to "bearing with one another" is that we are to be "completely humble, gentle and patient." Completely - fully!!! As human beings, how is that possible?

When I think of what it means to be "humble and gentle," I naturally think of Jesus. He was "completely humble, gentle and patient" and He most certainly "beared" with all of us in love - to the point of death for our redemption and salvation.

Though, I want to be "completely humble, gentle and patient" it really isn't my nature, and so I have to work at this, and it takes a lot of work for me, with God's help!

What about you? Are you someone who is naturally humble, gentle and patient with others - especially as you live with the pain and sorrow of losing a child?

For me, it is easy to bear with other "moms like me" in love, as I understand what they are going through in response to the loss of their child. But, what about with others who don't understand and cannot relate to the heartache of child loss? Am I humble, gentle and patient with them? I have to admit, not so much in the past, but I am getting much better about this now that I am healing and I have learned so much about how grief affects us. And, because finally after more than 16years, the epicenter of my life is not my grief and sorrow, and I find that I am much more patient and loving toward others in the process.

When we are grieving, it is all too easy to judge and criticize those who don't seem to know how to "bear" our pain and sorrow. However, I believe that we must understand that though they may genuinely love us and want to help us, they are not equipped to bear the weight of our sorrows, which is why we need to invite and involve God into our sorrow for His comfort, strength and healing, because no person on Earth can comfort, strengthen and heal as He can and does.

All too often relationships change and even become estranged following the death of a child or a loved one. The loss of a child is a huge burden to bear, and it changes everything; and I have found that if we are not careful, we will be what changes the most and not always for the better - it's much too easy to become angry and even bitter in response to our despair.

And, so I write this blog today reminding myself, as well as other "moms like me," to humble ourselves in our grief, seeking to be "gentle, patient" and loving in the midst of our sufferings, erring on the side of grace whenever possible, "bearing with one another in love" - and this doesn't mean just other grieving moms, but our husbands, family and friends, as well.

With Humility,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherlikeme.info

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Turn Toward the Son!

6/8/2018

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Companioning with hundreds of moms who have suffered the loss of a child over the past 12 years, I have learned that because each of us are unique, though we share something of the grief connected to the loss of a child, we each learn to live with our loss(es) in our way.

For me, after the death of our son, Kevin, I grieved deeply, but I knew early in my grieving that I did not want grief to define me and that though I hurt, I was determined to allow God to comfort, heal and restore me to the fullness of life, as only He can. I longed for what I called "grief relief," and so I did my grief work while turning to God.

For me, though being connected to other "moms like me" was helpful and encouraging, especially seeing those moms who were further along in their grief enjoying everyday life gave me hope. However, it was (and still is) only, when I connected my broken heart and hurt with the Healer that God's Word came to life where He tells us that "I AM the only one to bring out the miracle in you." Support groups, bereavement resources and professionals are all helpful in the "journey through grief," but I have found that healing only comes from the Healer.

It has been my personal experience that those who mourn and are comforted by God truly heal and find their way back into life with renewed meaning and purpose. For me, it was when I turned my heart toward God that I was able to be set free from the pain and sorrow of loss that could have so easily crippled me for the rest of my life, if I had let it.

I was surprised to learn several years ago that the sunflower is the only flower that ctually turns to follow the Sun and as I look at this picture, I think of all the moms that I know who stand in a field of sorrow together, looking to one another for comfort, hope and encouragement that in all honesty can only be truly found in turning toward the Son of God, the only One with the power and the means by which to truly heal and restore a broken heart. Give God a chance, He wants to comfort and restore those who mourn.

Won't you try "turning" to Him?

Angie "a mom like you"
www.amotherlikeme.info
amotherlikeme@gmail.com

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Make Time for Mourning

6/3/2018

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Though our culture typically deals with death and loss as something to avoid, deny or rise above, I have personally discovered that it is in accepting and acknowledging the reality of loss that I am able to experience God's comfort, healing and peace.

I believe that God has created us humans with the ability to feel and to express our feelings, and when we deny our feelings and the heartache and pain of the losses in our life, we may find ourselves becoming people who live in denial, preventing us from rising out of the ashes of death and loss.

If we do not know how to mourn, we can learn from others . . from bereavement professionals and from those who have personally made their way through their journey of grief, experiencing healing and peace.

Though, I come from an Irish/English heritage, my grandmother on my mom's side of the family did not claim the Irish genetic connections, but rather the English/Scottish customs that shaped her into a woman that I loved deeply, but who seemed unable or unwilling to express her feelings and emotions outwardly. She raised three daughters who also found it difficult to express their feelings and emotions, which my Irish genes could never quite understand.

I am not much like my grandmother or my mother, probably too much the other way in that I "wear my feelings and emotions on my sleeve," I am an "open book" emotionally, and I cannot in anyway hide what I am feeling, though I have tried on many occasions it's like trying to put a cork back into a champagne bottle once the cork has released the pent-up bubbles.
My feelings and emotions are "welcomed guests," which is probably why I am especially moved by God's Word and music, and I can be somewhat melancholy at times.

Music moves me deeply and is a primary catalyst for tapping into my feelings and emotions. Throughout my life, I have used music to help me access and express my feelings. This morning is one of those times, when I told Alexa (my new toy) to play Secret Garden music and my emotions were moved into that place in my heart and soul where I am holding the grief of loss - the newest implanting being the death of my beloved brother, Russ, on March 13th.

When I "make time for mourning" it is to help me release some of the grief that I may hold in that private space in my heart and soul. And, after a scheduled time of mourning, I can breathe better and once again realize that "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away - blessed be the Name of the Lord." After the release of the pain and sorrow and subsequent emotions, I am ready to return to the joy of living, settled on the reality that my loss(es) are a part of the life that I love living with the hope that I have in Christ.

I am thankful for music and for God's Word, as these two beautiful creations of God cradles my heart and gives me permission to feel and express my feelings that often are connected to the sorrow and pain of losing and missing those that I love; and the list continues to grow with each passing year.

Making time this morning to access and feel what I needed to feel was a time of being "cradled" by my Heavenly Father and of remembering that I am human and that I feel. The best part of making time to mourn this morning was that it helped me to express the pain of loss through beautiful music, which comforted me. "Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted." - Matthew 5:4

With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherlikeme.info

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The Time of My Life

"Bearing with One Another"

Turn Toward the Son!

Make Time for Mourning

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