Allyson Zadeh: A true hero, this mom
Forget Superman.
Forget Wonder Woman.
Everyday people function in heroic roles every single day. That truth is worth celebrating, so once a month I’m going to profile a heroic woman.
If there’s a universal fear of all mothers, it’s losing a child. My friend Diane has persevered through this fear-of-all-fears, all while losing a spouse first. I am overwhelmed with awe and respect for this woman who has suffered so much, yet has stayed resolutely faithful to her God.
My friend Diane is one of these heroes.
Diane was raised in Western Kansas by Godly parents who taught her to love the Lord. As a senior in college, she was engaged to her boyfriend, Travis, and an after-graduation wedding was planned for May of 1993. Travis was a Windsor boy and they were here in Colorado for spring break that March of 1993 when their lives changed.
A trip to the doctor revealed that Travis, at the age of 21, had stage four colon cancer. He was given 3 months to live.
Against the advice of doctors, Diane and Travis went ahead with their wedding; Travis weak from chemo. Against the odds, Travis persevered and the two had a son and two daughters between 1994 and 2000. In this same time period, Travis’ cancer metastasized five different times to his liver, and the two endured the tragedy of surgeries, chemotherapy and other cancer-related complications as they welcomed each of their beautiful children into the world.
In 2000, the cancer went to his lungs, and in 2003, unbeknownst to Diane, Travis had a conversation with his brother Justin that would change the trajectory of all of their lives.
In ancient Israel, it was tradition for a widow to marry the nearest relative of her husband in order to protect her children, land and other assets since she had no rights as a single woman. It was based on this tradition that Travis asked Justin to care for Diane and the three kids when he passed away.
Justin agreed.
Travis fought hard until August of 2005 when he “changed his address to eternity,” in Diane’s words. Before he died, he told Diane what he'd asked his brother to do. Her initial reaction was probably more gracious than mine would have been: She thought he was hallucinating.
He was not. He was lucid, serious and a man worried that his kids would grow up without a father. He had a brother willing to step in to raise the kids and learn to love Diane. He wanted her to consider it.
In Diane’s words, in order to go along with this plan, she was going to need a “major heart change.” Upon serious prayer, consideration and conversation, Diane felt that heart change occur. And in June of 2006, Diane and Justin committed themselves to each other.
After six weeks of marriage, the new family was hit with another blow: Hope, Diane and Travis’ 10-year-old daughter, was diagnosed with osteogenic sarcoma: bone cancer.
Like her father, she fought the good fight. She had six cycles of ugly chemotherapy. In February of 2007, she was done with treatment and seemed to be doing great. But in October of 2007, she got another devastating diagnosis: leukemia.
On Jan. 11, 2008, Hope moved in with her daddy and “changed her address to eternity."
If there’s a universal fear of all mothers, it’s losing a child. My friend Diane has persevered through this fear-of-all-fears, all while losing a spouse first. I am overwhelmed with awe and respect for this woman who has suffered so much, yet has stayed resolutely faithful to her God.
She has been angry, yes. She has been devastated, of course. But she knows that this kind of illness and this kind of suffering is never the will of God.
Diane and Justin are two of the most encouraging, fun-loving, amazing people I have ever had the privilege of knowing. I am constantly amazed at their compassion for others, commitment to each other and the quality of their character. They are proof that love is an active choice. Diane is an amazing mother, Justin an equally amazing father. Their children remaining here on earth are old souls - with the loss of a father and a sister, I’m not sure how they could be anything but. Slate, the first-born, is now 18, and Isabelle, the youngest, is 12.
Justin and Diane have used the phrase “from ashes to beauty” numerous times to describe their journey. Certainly the ashes describe their dark times, but they have used their experiences and kept the faith by turning their grief into beauty and support for others.
In December of 2009, they founded a non-profit called “Gifts of Hope” to help other grieving families, and in June of 2012, they moved to Guatemala to work as missionaries to orphans.
Before she died, Hope recorded herself singing a song called “In Christ Alone” that I know Diane cherishes. The particular lyrics, “No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me. From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny” are ones that both Hope and Travis lived by – and Diane, Justin, Slate and Isabelle continue to inspire others by.
Thank you Diane, for being my friend, an inspiration and a true hero.
Allyson Zadeh is married with two children and another on the way. Read her Wednesdays onGreeley Moms.
Forget Superman.
Forget Wonder Woman.
Everyday people function in heroic roles every single day. That truth is worth celebrating, so once a month I’m going to profile a heroic woman.
If there’s a universal fear of all mothers, it’s losing a child. My friend Diane has persevered through this fear-of-all-fears, all while losing a spouse first. I am overwhelmed with awe and respect for this woman who has suffered so much, yet has stayed resolutely faithful to her God.
My friend Diane is one of these heroes.
Diane was raised in Western Kansas by Godly parents who taught her to love the Lord. As a senior in college, she was engaged to her boyfriend, Travis, and an after-graduation wedding was planned for May of 1993. Travis was a Windsor boy and they were here in Colorado for spring break that March of 1993 when their lives changed.
A trip to the doctor revealed that Travis, at the age of 21, had stage four colon cancer. He was given 3 months to live.
Against the advice of doctors, Diane and Travis went ahead with their wedding; Travis weak from chemo. Against the odds, Travis persevered and the two had a son and two daughters between 1994 and 2000. In this same time period, Travis’ cancer metastasized five different times to his liver, and the two endured the tragedy of surgeries, chemotherapy and other cancer-related complications as they welcomed each of their beautiful children into the world.
In 2000, the cancer went to his lungs, and in 2003, unbeknownst to Diane, Travis had a conversation with his brother Justin that would change the trajectory of all of their lives.
In ancient Israel, it was tradition for a widow to marry the nearest relative of her husband in order to protect her children, land and other assets since she had no rights as a single woman. It was based on this tradition that Travis asked Justin to care for Diane and the three kids when he passed away.
Justin agreed.
Travis fought hard until August of 2005 when he “changed his address to eternity,” in Diane’s words. Before he died, he told Diane what he'd asked his brother to do. Her initial reaction was probably more gracious than mine would have been: She thought he was hallucinating.
He was not. He was lucid, serious and a man worried that his kids would grow up without a father. He had a brother willing to step in to raise the kids and learn to love Diane. He wanted her to consider it.
In Diane’s words, in order to go along with this plan, she was going to need a “major heart change.” Upon serious prayer, consideration and conversation, Diane felt that heart change occur. And in June of 2006, Diane and Justin committed themselves to each other.
After six weeks of marriage, the new family was hit with another blow: Hope, Diane and Travis’ 10-year-old daughter, was diagnosed with osteogenic sarcoma: bone cancer.
Like her father, she fought the good fight. She had six cycles of ugly chemotherapy. In February of 2007, she was done with treatment and seemed to be doing great. But in October of 2007, she got another devastating diagnosis: leukemia.
On Jan. 11, 2008, Hope moved in with her daddy and “changed her address to eternity."
If there’s a universal fear of all mothers, it’s losing a child. My friend Diane has persevered through this fear-of-all-fears, all while losing a spouse first. I am overwhelmed with awe and respect for this woman who has suffered so much, yet has stayed resolutely faithful to her God.
She has been angry, yes. She has been devastated, of course. But she knows that this kind of illness and this kind of suffering is never the will of God.
Diane and Justin are two of the most encouraging, fun-loving, amazing people I have ever had the privilege of knowing. I am constantly amazed at their compassion for others, commitment to each other and the quality of their character. They are proof that love is an active choice. Diane is an amazing mother, Justin an equally amazing father. Their children remaining here on earth are old souls - with the loss of a father and a sister, I’m not sure how they could be anything but. Slate, the first-born, is now 18, and Isabelle, the youngest, is 12.
Justin and Diane have used the phrase “from ashes to beauty” numerous times to describe their journey. Certainly the ashes describe their dark times, but they have used their experiences and kept the faith by turning their grief into beauty and support for others.
In December of 2009, they founded a non-profit called “Gifts of Hope” to help other grieving families, and in June of 2012, they moved to Guatemala to work as missionaries to orphans.
Before she died, Hope recorded herself singing a song called “In Christ Alone” that I know Diane cherishes. The particular lyrics, “No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me. From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny” are ones that both Hope and Travis lived by – and Diane, Justin, Slate and Isabelle continue to inspire others by.
Thank you Diane, for being my friend, an inspiration and a true hero.
Allyson Zadeh is married with two children and another on the way. Read her Wednesdays onGreeley Moms.
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