It takes time to learn how to get through each day after someone we love dies and I, along with many others, would say that to think that we are going to "get over" the loss of someone we have loved and lost reveals the level of a person's understanding and experience with death and loss.
Most people are well-meaning in encouraging those who have suffered loss to move through their grief and "get over it," and it has been my experience that is because they want to avoid facing the heartache and pain connected to loss and they aren't comfortable identifying with another's grief, beause they aren't comfortable embracing their own grief, much less another's.
Fortunately, I have had no one suggest that I should "get over" the loss of our son, Kevin, and that wouldn't work for me anyway, because I would find that impossible, especially since I so want to keep him "tucked safely in my heart."
Why do you think there are people who think we should "get over" that person no longer here with us? As I mentioned earlier, I believe that it is because they don't want to companion with those who are grieving, and they want everything the way it once was, and of course wouldn't that be nice, but it's just not reality.
Tonight, I came together with a small group of amazing moms who are making their way through their journey of grief. These women obviously want to come to a place of healing peace, andt they are not afraid to embrace their grief share their grief with other moms, As we visited and shared something of our personal losses, I was once again touched by the reality that there wasn't one mom at the table who was in denial or wanted to "get over" their loss. These are courageous women who are making their way through their grief, intentional about keeping their child's memory alive, while at the same time seeking understanding and some sense of peace in the company of other moms who know only too well the grief connected to the loss of their children and how that grief can impact our lives.
It was good to be in the company of these moms who have no desire to "get over" the loss of their child, but who honor them by remembering them. I would have thought that the loss of my son, Kevin, would be too much to bear and that I might try to "get over" the pain as quickly as I could, but I know after nearly 15 years that would have dishonored him and that approach would not have helped me in the least. "You are tucked away safely in my heart, Son, and that's where I will keep you from now until we are reunited again. And, I never want to 'get over' you - because you are unforgettable!"
"I thank God upon every remembrance of you." - Phillipians 1:3
Angie "a mom like you"
amotherlikeme@gmail.com
www.amotherlikeme.info
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