Not that we are destined to be stuck in the shadows of death, but it has been my personal experience, and the experiences of hundreds of moms I know and have been in contact with over the past two decades, that there is a time and a season of grieving we cannot ignore or bypass.
After our son, Kevin, died I found a quote from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin's "Hearts on Fire"that I constantly refer to, not just in connection with grief, but as a reminder of the importance of me patiently trusting God with every aspect of my life.
In the aftermath of the loss of my 93 year old Mom in August this year, I am again faced with a hard-hitting loss and grief; the Patient Trust quote by Pierre keep resonating within me . . .
"Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on our way to something unknown, something new. And, yet is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability - and that it may take a very long time . . ."
Once again, just 3 years after the loss of brother, I find myself on my way to "something unknown, something new . . . passing through some stages of instability." I have learned to be patient and to trust God completely and I also agree with Pierre Teilhard's words as I "Give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you (me), and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete."
The word "incomplete" fits me perfectly. I have suffered the loss of my Dad, my Sister, my Brother, my Son and now my Mom . . . boy, do I feel incomplete somehow. Each of these loved ones have taken a piece of my heart with them and I will try not to force myself to pass through this journey of grief in a hurry this time, as I haven't in the past. It will take me a very long time to learn how to live with the loss of my Mom, and I am patient to take all the time I need to process my emotions and heal from yet another significant loss.
What about you precious "mom like me?" Are you trying to force your way through the stages of "anxiety and instability?" I pray you will not "skip the intermediate stages." Like me, you are "on your way to something unknown, something new," and I hope you will trust God to comfort, you heal you, and create a new spirit within you. It may happen soon or it may take a "very long time." May you "give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you."
With Faith, Hope and Love Always,
Angie "a mom like you"