My dad once spoke at a conference about time; how we all have an "account of time - 24 hours a day whether we are rich or poor, healthy or unhealthy, happy or unhappy, and cemeteries are full of those who wish they had more time."
A few days after my dad died when I was 12 years old, I picked up his Bible and started thumbing through the pages. How I treasure the speaker notes I discovered in Ecclesiastes.
How I wish my dad, my mom, my son, my brother and all those who have gone on before me had more time for us to spend together.
Though I do not always use the time I have been allotted wisely, my dad's words were imprinted on my heart, and I'm often reminded that one day I, too, will take my last breath on this earth, perhaps wishing I had more time.
What about you? Are you using your allotted 24 hours in a way that when your life ends you will know you used your time wisely? How much time each day do you spend on things that don't matter much or bring you a sense of satisfaction and peace at the end of the day?
Like a bank account, I believe it is my responsibility to make deposits and withdrawals of time for what matters most, not just to me, but to God. How much time do I invest in the people I love, the opportunities available to me to further the Kingdom of God, making lasting memories, and making a difference in someone's life for good and for God's glory (the root word for glory is HAPPY!)
The clock is ticking, and as I am writing this I looked up at the clock on the wall and realize almost an hour has passed since I sat down in front of the computer. How many times have we said or heard someone say, "Where did the time go?" That's how I feel right now.
For those who are living with the loss of a child/loved one, health, a job, a divorce, a friendship or a difficult situation, time may seem to stand still and the seconds, minutes and hours drag on in what seems an unending dance of heartache, distress, confusion and pain.
For those who reach for life in the midst of their heartache and pain, there is hope, and it may seem there are not enough hours in the day to do all they want to do because we are living a life well-lived.
For the dreamer, the visionary, time doesn't matter, because dreams and visions open an expanse of time and endless possibilities.
For the one who is stuck, or crippled by grief, time can be torment, oppressive, and like an enemy. Too often precious souls die inside after the loss of a child/someone they love, and their routines and decision to stay stuck or crippled kills their spirit, and their desire to create a life they love. Why does this happen? I think it is because of the depth of pain and sorrow, and possibly because they feel guilty, and/or are punishing themselves somehow.
If we decide life goes on, and we begin to truly live again, we may feel as though we are betraying the memory of our child/loved one. In my case, I know all those I have loved and am missing would want me to design a life I love. It would deeply distress them, if because of their deaths I would give up on life and settle for living in the shadows, stuck and crippled by grief.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 speaks about an important truth, "There is a time for everything." This passage suggests there is a time to grieve, and a time let go of grieving. We need time to grieve and it was important for me to give myself permission to grieve, but I grieved with hope-hope that my loved ones are in heaven, the promise God is near the "brokenhearted," and He would comfort and strengthen me. I also was determined not to doubt God's love in the midst of my sorrow and pain, and I never gave up hope for better days to come.
How are you spending the time you have left on this earth? Are you designing a life you love? Are you staying too long in the "valley of the shadow of death?" I hope you are designing a life you love!
With Faith, Hope and Love Always.
Angie "a mom like you"