I'm not much for swimming in un-chartered waters. I prefer sticking my toes - my pretty n pink polished toes- into trickling streams or at the edge of the ocean. I don't care if the ocean is calm or waves are crashing against the shore, but I am hesitant to swim in the ocean, even though I did so in my youth. Now, I prefer swimming in a refreshing, clear salt water pool!
I don't like walking or driving in the fog. I've done both, when I lived a mile from the beach in So. California, but I didn't like it then and I wouldn't like it now. I like to see where I am going. I don't like being in the shadows or the dark with no light or line of sight ahead.
The desert isn't very welcoming to me. Though, it has it's own beauty (and I've been reminded of this by many friends who live in the desert) there's too much dirt, too many creeping, slithering and crawling things for my taste, and it's HOT! I'm a cool weather gal and actually like cold weather.
I have no desire to venture off, much less hike or backpack into the wilderness. Thick forests are kind of scary, if I can't see ahead. I know myself very well, and I know that I am not an explorer or a risk taker. And, I'm certainly not equipped for survival in any of these environments.
When I first entered the wilderness of grief, I felt abandoned, confused and lost. How was I going to survive, if I was left alone in the wilderness? Who was going to help me make my way through that wilderness? I knew I needed a navigator. I looked for navigators in grief support group(s) and bereavement books and resources.
Though these were helpful to me, I came to realize very soon into my journey that I needed God to be my navigator, because only He had all that I needed to take me through the wilderness safely. He knew the way and if I stayed with Him, I'd not only survive, but learn many important lessons in in un-chartered waters, the fog, the desert and the wilderness. Mostly, I learned that He is faithful and a very proficient navigator.
Does this feel true for you, precious mom? Do you feel abandoned, lost somehow? If you have come through the wilderness, do you remember at time in your grieving, when you felt this way?
Isaiah 43:18 spoke loud and clear to me in those early times of my grief. These words from God called me to walk with Him through the wilderness each and every step of the way. Do not keep looking back, as though I forgot something or felt like something or someone was lurking in the shadows, stalking me, but to "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, i am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."
This scripture became one of the guiding lights unto my path and lamp unto my feet (Psalm 119:105). This truth from God's Word kept, and keeps me moving ahead with Him; not looking back, not going ahead or lagging behind the great navigator of my life.
How about you? Where are you in your walk through the wilderness? Are you suffering from the vast and scorching desert of grief? Do you feel like you are drowning in your grief or feel like you are swimming with sharks?
Are you aware that God is "doing a new thing," in you? Or, are you stuck somehow? I hope that you will reach for the light in Christ that you might experience how God is "making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland," for you!
With Faith, Hope ad Love,
Angie "a mom like you"