"Grief never ends, but it changes.
Grief is a passage not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith, it is the price of love."
When I recently saw this statement posted on Facebook, I immediately thought of my own losses and those I know who have suffered the loss of a child, or anyone they have loved for that matter.
Just last month, I was asked by a grieving mom "Does grief ever end?" Even before coming across this quote, I knew from personal experience the answer to her question was "No, but it changes."
Some new or stuck in their own grieving might ask "how do we come to see our grieving as a passage" rather than a place where we take up permanent residency?
Grief is emotional, mental, spiritual and physical work - there's just no other way to look at it, and it is usually a long and hard project of pain. If only God's promise of giving "beauty for ashes, joy for mourning and praise for the spirit of heaviness..." came easily and quickly, but that's just not the way grief seems to work.
Some grievers look for a quick fix to everything and anything that they don't like or that hurts them or that does not bring instant relief and/or gratification. Some grievers deny that they are hurting, because to do so would mean that they are somehow weak. Some grievers ignore their feelings and emotions, thinking that their feelings and emotions are somehow bad or not normal, but most grievers would tell us that none of these approaches to grief is healthy or helpful.
I have loved and lost several people in my life, but the most painful loss was that of my son, Kevin, in 2002. I am grateful that I did not take up residency in that place of grief where I once resided following his death, and I have most certainly experienced changes in how and when I grieve. My love for my son will never change, and so I have learned that grief is the price of loving him and he's worth whatever grief I may experience now or in the future.
I have made my way through the "valley of the shadow of death," and I accept that there will never be a time, when I forget about Kevin or anyone I have loved and lost. I know that I will never be "over" the grief anymore than I could ever be "over" the one I love. The grief connected to the loss of someone we love never ends, because love is the one and only thing that lasts FOREVER! And, as one special "mom like us" recently shared, "we (as followers of Jesus) don't grieve like those who have no hope, our life is just a mist here on Earth, then our Eternal home, praise God!"
With Faith, Hope and Love,
Angie "a mom like you"